As I sit in front of my laptop, clearing emails on a Sunday night, I can so feel my blood starting to boil.. Its a Sunday night but this is what I'm doing!!!! Sighz.. What a sad life..
Every client wants everything settled before the year-end.. But for heaven's sake.. the next 2 weeks are short weeks.. 3.5 working days each week.. tat makes 7 working days in all.. Doesn't help that my colleague's away and I'm covering her work.. then with a super irritating senior colleague who expects me to drop my own things just to complete his projects first.. arrgghhh!
I'm tired.. enough is enough..
All I ask for this Christmas, is for my dream to come true next year..
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Hong Kong
Its the 3rd consecutive year that I've headed to Hong Kong.. If it wasn't a family trip, I really would have opted for Phuket instead.
It was a great 4 days of unwinding in Hong Kong, even though I still didn't get the chance to explore much of the place.. 10 of us (incl. my niece and nephew) traveled together! A really large group!! Thankfully, they behaved quite well on the flight and certainly showed no signs of fear of being on a plane.. my niece was afraid of being placed in the bassinet though and screams when anyone tries to put her in.. and my nephew found it quite amusing when the plane lands with the "gong, gong, gong" noise being made as it halts to stop.
it was like a trip to re-live my childhood.. how long has it been since i rode on the horse carousel, flying jumbo elephant, spinning teacups?? I did all those, more than once for each ride even.. haha
it was fun hanging out with my brother and cousins at LKF too.. think the last I travelled with my brother was when I was about 10 maybe. So its been a good 16 years..
but this was a really expensive trip... all expenses paid trip for my mum, plus a dinner treat at Yung Kee, plus shopping, plus forfeiting money on the phuket trip.. oh well, look beyond the $$ I tell myself!!
Link to photos on the right. My niece and nephew are just sooooo CUUUTTTEEE!!!
It was a great 4 days of unwinding in Hong Kong, even though I still didn't get the chance to explore much of the place.. 10 of us (incl. my niece and nephew) traveled together! A really large group!! Thankfully, they behaved quite well on the flight and certainly showed no signs of fear of being on a plane.. my niece was afraid of being placed in the bassinet though and screams when anyone tries to put her in.. and my nephew found it quite amusing when the plane lands with the "gong, gong, gong" noise being made as it halts to stop.
it was like a trip to re-live my childhood.. how long has it been since i rode on the horse carousel, flying jumbo elephant, spinning teacups?? I did all those, more than once for each ride even.. haha
it was fun hanging out with my brother and cousins at LKF too.. think the last I travelled with my brother was when I was about 10 maybe. So its been a good 16 years..
but this was a really expensive trip... all expenses paid trip for my mum, plus a dinner treat at Yung Kee, plus shopping, plus forfeiting money on the phuket trip.. oh well, look beyond the $$ I tell myself!!
Link to photos on the right. My niece and nephew are just sooooo CUUUTTTEEE!!!
Sunday, December 07, 2008
My first attempt at baking
Other than home economics class back in secondary school, this is probably the first time I've attempted baking. Dy suddenly decided that he wants to bake and so gathered a couple of us together. My brother kindly agreed to let us use his place (apparently, its quite difficult to find someone who has an oven at home).
On a early sat morn, we dragged ourselves out of the house and met at Simei to buy the necessary ingredients. The adventure of our baking attempt begins!
At my bro's place, we randomly fiddled to operate the oven.. *ta-da* dy managed to get it working! But only for a min or so.. before the electricity tripped!!! OMG!!! I hope nothing is spoilt by us!! We turned back on the mains, and tried the oven again, again and again... This spelt the end of our baking adventure... =\ The oven never worked again.. oopssss.. I really hoped it wasn't us!
Not willing to give up, we decided to head to dy's house and use the mini oven instead. I must say, his house has almost all the baking tools that you can think of! We should have so headed to his place to begin with..
That's the first cheesecake in the oven.
The right one is the end product while the one on the left is the second cheesecake (we had enough mix to make 2 cheesecakes)
After chilling it overnight, here's the final product!! I have to say, it actually tastes pretty good... don't mind the not so nice looking surface though.. Not too bad for my first baking (and probably cooking) attempt.. LoL!
Looking forward to more baking adventures!!
On a early sat morn, we dragged ourselves out of the house and met at Simei to buy the necessary ingredients. The adventure of our baking attempt begins!
At my bro's place, we randomly fiddled to operate the oven.. *ta-da* dy managed to get it working! But only for a min or so.. before the electricity tripped!!! OMG!!! I hope nothing is spoilt by us!! We turned back on the mains, and tried the oven again, again and again... This spelt the end of our baking adventure... =\ The oven never worked again.. oopssss.. I really hoped it wasn't us!
Not willing to give up, we decided to head to dy's house and use the mini oven instead. I must say, his house has almost all the baking tools that you can think of! We should have so headed to his place to begin with..
That's the first cheesecake in the oven.
The right one is the end product while the one on the left is the second cheesecake (we had enough mix to make 2 cheesecakes)
After chilling it overnight, here's the final product!! I have to say, it actually tastes pretty good... don't mind the not so nice looking surface though.. Not too bad for my first baking (and probably cooking) attempt.. LoL!Looking forward to more baking adventures!!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
All I'm thinking of..
Sleep.. that's about the only thing I did this weekend.. This is how tired I am.. or perhaps its just that I don't want to be awake and thinking of all the work that's waiting for me.. sigh..
I was resigned to working late in the office on Fri nite.. felt too exhausted to go anywhere nor was I in the mood to be out there amongst the crowds.. Just then, received a call from 乌龟 asking me out for dinner.. it was a much welcomed distraction that came at the precise moment!
It was a session where we both just let out all our work grouses.. we're both keeping our fingers crossed and hoping for the results we want that would come sometime mid next year.. hoping for the best..
When it was time for us to leave, we dreaded to head home.. we wanted to be home to rest and have time for ourselves.. but we also know that going home means having to start working on all those stuff we had brought along to be completed over the weekend!! Arrghhhhhh!!
I know I complain too much about my work.. but if its as simple as saying "I quit", I would've done that.. but there's alot more to consider.. words are spoken loosely and easily.. its putting it into action that's difficult..
I was resigned to working late in the office on Fri nite.. felt too exhausted to go anywhere nor was I in the mood to be out there amongst the crowds.. Just then, received a call from 乌龟 asking me out for dinner.. it was a much welcomed distraction that came at the precise moment!
It was a session where we both just let out all our work grouses.. we're both keeping our fingers crossed and hoping for the results we want that would come sometime mid next year.. hoping for the best..
When it was time for us to leave, we dreaded to head home.. we wanted to be home to rest and have time for ourselves.. but we also know that going home means having to start working on all those stuff we had brought along to be completed over the weekend!! Arrghhhhhh!!
I know I complain too much about my work.. but if its as simple as saying "I quit", I would've done that.. but there's alot more to consider.. words are spoken loosely and easily.. its putting it into action that's difficult..
Sunday, November 23, 2008
是我变了吗？
当了11年的好朋友，但最近因为时间不允许，就少来往了些。在一次聚在一起时，感觉变得很生疏。好难过。。。 不知道是不是自己变了， 才会和朋友的距离拉得越来越远。好想好想能真正的和朋友们轻松的聚一聚。最近的压力真的快让我窒息了。在无能控制的情况下，躲到角落偷偷哭泣的次数频频增加，身体也有承受不住的现象。让自己也担心起来了。。。
最初把时间排得满满的出发点是想让自己的生活一点空当的时间都没有，才不会有多余的时间去胡思乱想。久而久之，却似乎是在将自己封锁起来而利用工作来麻醉自己。我以为自己能够适应这样的生活。但现在却找不到坚持下去的勇气！朋友认为我最荒谬的理论- 若是生活在一个有亲朋好友围绕的地方还是感觉到孤单寂寞，那我宁愿到一个没人认识我的地方生活。至少我知道孤单与寂寞是理所当然的。
或许失去了人生的方向盘就是这样吧。常常都只想一个人躲起来。已经尽力在寻找方向，但还是毫无头绪。真的很累了，累得无法在支撑下去了。至少宛萍能理解。真的很谢谢她一再的支持与鼓励。。
其实真的很高兴今年在工作上所得到的认同。至少这么多年来的努力没白费。但是这一切都是用了其他东西换来的 - 健康，幸福，睡眠，时间等。要得到就必须付出，我理解了。今天的一切结果都是因我自己所做出的选择，因此我不会为所失去的责怪任何人。就当是要让我学着成长的必经之路吧！而我现在要做出的选择就是放弃这一切。就当是我没那能耐，也没那能力在现在的领域里获得骄人的成就， 所以就选择退出。已失去了许多才选择放弃，是有点傻，有点可惜，但我只想找回平凡的我。可能是因为最近有位好友让我听了《领悟》。。我领悟了。
就如她说的，换个环境也许对我而言会较好。我不在顾虑这么多了。会放胆去试一试。并不是我要离开就能的哟。大概在半年后才会知道吧。
最初把时间排得满满的出发点是想让自己的生活一点空当的时间都没有，才不会有多余的时间去胡思乱想。久而久之，却似乎是在将自己封锁起来而利用工作来麻醉自己。我以为自己能够适应这样的生活。但现在却找不到坚持下去的勇气！朋友认为我最荒谬的理论- 若是生活在一个有亲朋好友围绕的地方还是感觉到孤单寂寞，那我宁愿到一个没人认识我的地方生活。至少我知道孤单与寂寞是理所当然的。
或许失去了人生的方向盘就是这样吧。常常都只想一个人躲起来。已经尽力在寻找方向，但还是毫无头绪。真的很累了，累得无法在支撑下去了。至少宛萍能理解。真的很谢谢她一再的支持与鼓励。。
其实真的很高兴今年在工作上所得到的认同。至少这么多年来的努力没白费。但是这一切都是用了其他东西换来的 - 健康，幸福，睡眠，时间等。要得到就必须付出，我理解了。今天的一切结果都是因我自己所做出的选择，因此我不会为所失去的责怪任何人。就当是要让我学着成长的必经之路吧！而我现在要做出的选择就是放弃这一切。就当是我没那能耐，也没那能力在现在的领域里获得骄人的成就， 所以就选择退出。已失去了许多才选择放弃，是有点傻，有点可惜，但我只想找回平凡的我。可能是因为最近有位好友让我听了《领悟》。。我领悟了。
就如她说的，换个环境也许对我而言会较好。我不在顾虑这么多了。会放胆去试一试。并不是我要离开就能的哟。大概在半年后才会知道吧。
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Its SOOOO real
Its time finance texts are re-written. The unthinkable, unimaginable has all happened! The question is, what next? I recall finance texts clearly touting that 2 US mortgage giants, Freddie and Fannie are akin to risk-free treasuries.. there's no risk of default.. then they got into trouble when property values started plummeting.. they were at risk of defaulting! Then came the BIG 5 Investment Banks of Wall Street that once seem so formidable, each with over a hundred years of history... that just kinda fizzled out... first up, Bear Stearns was acquired by JPM, then Lehman just collapsed overnight... Merill got acquired by BOA... the remaining 2 opted to become deposit-taking banks overseen by the Fed Reserve thereafter.. (ie. no more BIG 5!) Something closer to home.. Insuarance Giant AIG could not meet its obligations.. All these and more happened in the short span of slightly over a year..
But the man on the street here probably still wasn't aware how this will affect him... it still seemed so far away... if not for my job, I might be one of the few oblivious one..
Now it has finally hit home... job cuts are for real, in the very firm I work for... in a couple of hours' time, the names will be released.. everyone had been on tenterhooks over this week, not knowing if they're one of those on the list.. the fear and uncertainty was written over everyone's faces.. Initially, I wasn't really worried at all.. Worst case, I'll take it as a well-deserved break.. but the atmosphere in the office is just too tensed! Everyone.. from clients to friends.. the first question will always be, "so how? are you ok?" Everyone has got me very worried now! But looking on the bright side.. I'm lucky to still be young, and free from any debts.. and perhaps this will help speed up the decision process on applying for JET.
Tmrw's gonna be the most ironic day of the year.. a lunch treat which was planned for long ago by those who got promoted mid-year is scheduled for tmrw.. aft lunch, HR will be dropping by.. there'll be a hairy crab session in the evening.. frankly, who in the world has the appetite to eat during lunch? probably the hearts are all beating in the throats alr.. who'll have the appetite to still have hairy crabs after the news?? even if you're not one of those on the list.. u'll be sad for those who've been asked to leave!
One thing I learn this time round.. don't ever take things for granted.. what's yours today might not be yours the next.. doesn't matter how hard you work or how good a worker you are.. no one is indispensable... ...
But the man on the street here probably still wasn't aware how this will affect him... it still seemed so far away... if not for my job, I might be one of the few oblivious one..
Now it has finally hit home... job cuts are for real, in the very firm I work for... in a couple of hours' time, the names will be released.. everyone had been on tenterhooks over this week, not knowing if they're one of those on the list.. the fear and uncertainty was written over everyone's faces.. Initially, I wasn't really worried at all.. Worst case, I'll take it as a well-deserved break.. but the atmosphere in the office is just too tensed! Everyone.. from clients to friends.. the first question will always be, "so how? are you ok?" Everyone has got me very worried now! But looking on the bright side.. I'm lucky to still be young, and free from any debts.. and perhaps this will help speed up the decision process on applying for JET.
Tmrw's gonna be the most ironic day of the year.. a lunch treat which was planned for long ago by those who got promoted mid-year is scheduled for tmrw.. aft lunch, HR will be dropping by.. there'll be a hairy crab session in the evening.. frankly, who in the world has the appetite to eat during lunch? probably the hearts are all beating in the throats alr.. who'll have the appetite to still have hairy crabs after the news?? even if you're not one of those on the list.. u'll be sad for those who've been asked to leave!
One thing I learn this time round.. don't ever take things for granted.. what's yours today might not be yours the next.. doesn't matter how hard you work or how good a worker you are.. no one is indispensable... ...
Monday, October 20, 2008
As the days go by..
A deadline I gave myself.. 31 Dec 08.. is drawing near.. but I've made no progress in thinking things through.. that's just me.. forever procrastinating in making a decision.. slightly more than 2 months left.. but I have no idea where to begin..
Man grumble when they have no choice.. and whine when they have too many choices.. when then can man be satisfied? NEVER!
I like familiarity.. because it makes life so much easier and bearable.. but familiarity is the reason for my current negative state of mind.. how ironic is that? I still haven't found a way to reconcile the two, and hence, my apprehension in making a decision..
I'm tired of being who I am not.. then again, I don't know who I am..
Just know that I yearn for the day when I can smile from the bottom of my heart, again..
Man grumble when they have no choice.. and whine when they have too many choices.. when then can man be satisfied? NEVER!
I like familiarity.. because it makes life so much easier and bearable.. but familiarity is the reason for my current negative state of mind.. how ironic is that? I still haven't found a way to reconcile the two, and hence, my apprehension in making a decision..
I'm tired of being who I am not.. then again, I don't know who I am..
Just know that I yearn for the day when I can smile from the bottom of my heart, again..
Thursday, October 09, 2008
What to make of the markets
2 days after I came back, I was being mentally prepared for the onslaught of work to come.. all thanks to the market that kept heading south no matter what central govts are doing.. with every passing minute, more grim news surface..
I've grown tired of reading all the negative reports.. each time a report surface, I'll thank God that nothing in there will affect my job stability, as yet.. given that investment markets are now closed.. more and more corporates are relying on bank loans.. its got me really busy.. of course, its always good that there's business coming.. but I'm going to become the best clown in town juggling everything on my plate.. learning how to prioritize is the probably the biggest skill I can pick up now.. work just keeps pouring in.. I don't see an end to it..
I still cannot really comprehend the bloodbath even after every other major central bank is doing their bit to stabilize the markets..
sighz.. can the market head north like real soon?
I've grown tired of reading all the negative reports.. each time a report surface, I'll thank God that nothing in there will affect my job stability, as yet.. given that investment markets are now closed.. more and more corporates are relying on bank loans.. its got me really busy.. of course, its always good that there's business coming.. but I'm going to become the best clown in town juggling everything on my plate.. learning how to prioritize is the probably the biggest skill I can pick up now.. work just keeps pouring in.. I don't see an end to it..
I still cannot really comprehend the bloodbath even after every other major central bank is doing their bit to stabilize the markets..
sighz.. can the market head north like real soon?
Monday, October 06, 2008
東京
I'm back from the super short trip to Tokyo. Everyone's shock to see me back in the office... no one expected my trip to be this short.. heh.. kinda tiring actually.. packed quite a bit into the trip, plus touched down only at bout 0030.. aft all the unpacking, plus packing my room which was kinda messy since my parents got my room painted while I was away, and everything weren't in the right position.. it was close to 0400 when I finally hit the sacks.. and I went in to work couple of hours later...とても大変ですね！！！
Day 1 Ueno, Asakusa, Odaiba
The happy faces of 2 gals who just arrived in 日本 and are making their way to central Tokyo!
Did the usual sightseeing this first day we got in.. First off to Ueno Park, followed by Asakusa and then Odaiba. Ueno and Asakusa still looked pretty much the same as 7 yrs ago.. The reason I wanted to go Odaiba was for Rainbow Bridge and the ferris wheel.. sounds silly.. but oh well, its just me.. hehe.. pretty pretty sights!
Day 2 Hakone
The diff modes of transport in Hakone.
Day 4 Tsukiji Market & Tokyo Disneysea
I really can't believe having to queue an hour for sushi at Tsukiji and most surprisingly, I survived the queue.. I'm not someone who can appreciate food.. since I don't eat much.. its jus ridiculous to me that we stood in the queue for an hour and had that few pieces of sushi.. no doubt, the freshness of the seafood is something I've never tasted before.. おいしい！！
Headed down to Disney after brunch.. to our horror, Disneyland is overcrowded!! They had stopped selling tix!! AHHHHH! Left without a choice, headed over to Disneysea.. 残念ですね！
In my opinion, Disneyland is more fairytale like and cute.. which I so prefer over Disneysea..
Day 5 Harajuku
Shopping!! But did not have enough time =\ Good and bad I guess.. Good cause the damage to the pockets will be smaller.. bad because my aim was to go there and shop!! but the disparity in quality between clothes sold at Harajuku and Omotesando was quite apparent. You really gotta pay up for the quality!
Din buy many things, but here's some of what I bought..
Its back to REALITY again... =\
I'll post more photos when I have the time..
Day 1 Ueno, Asakusa, Odaiba
The happy faces of 2 gals who just arrived in 日本 and are making their way to central Tokyo!
Day 2 Hakone
The diff modes of transport in Hakone.
Day 3 Hakone, Omotesando, Roppongi
表参道 Omotesando Hills along Omotesando とてもきれいですね、でも物価はとても高いですね！ Everything along this street is so elegant and pretty. But I guess there's a price to pay for everything.. nothing's cheap here.. simple top could set you back by $100 easily.. Shopping was followed by catching sight of the infamous Tokyo Tower ＠六本木。とても好きだよ！
表参道 Omotesando Hills along Omotesando とてもきれいですね、でも物価はとても高いですね！ Everything along this street is so elegant and pretty. But I guess there's a price to pay for everything.. nothing's cheap here.. simple top could set you back by $100 easily.. Shopping was followed by catching sight of the infamous Tokyo Tower ＠六本木。とても好きだよ！Day 4 Tsukiji Market & Tokyo Disneysea
I really can't believe having to queue an hour for sushi at Tsukiji and most surprisingly, I survived the queue.. I'm not someone who can appreciate food.. since I don't eat much.. its jus ridiculous to me that we stood in the queue for an hour and had that few pieces of sushi.. no doubt, the freshness of the seafood is something I've never tasted before.. おいしい！！Headed down to Disney after brunch.. to our horror, Disneyland is overcrowded!! They had stopped selling tix!! AHHHHH! Left without a choice, headed over to Disneysea.. 残念ですね！
In my opinion, Disneyland is more fairytale like and cute.. which I so prefer over Disneysea..
Day 5 Harajuku
Shopping!! But did not have enough time =\ Good and bad I guess.. Good cause the damage to the pockets will be smaller.. bad because my aim was to go there and shop!! but the disparity in quality between clothes sold at Harajuku and Omotesando was quite apparent. You really gotta pay up for the quality!Din buy many things, but here's some of what I bought..
Its back to REALITY again... =\
I'll post more photos when I have the time..
Monday, September 29, 2008
Struck me hard
Bro stayed over with the little one over the weekend.. While lazing in bed, just commented to him that my table's really messy (ie. can't see the table actually).. his reply was, "is it? but you're even messier!"
Alright, he probably meant it in the appearance sense since I refused to get out of bed and just continued lazing.. but his words struck me hard cos I really feel that life's in a mess right now.. although perhaps somewhat in an organised mess.. but its still a mess..
sighz.. Ain't making much sense here.. shall go continue packing instead..
Alright, he probably meant it in the appearance sense since I refused to get out of bed and just continued lazing.. but his words struck me hard cos I really feel that life's in a mess right now.. although perhaps somewhat in an organised mess.. but its still a mess..
sighz.. Ain't making much sense here.. shall go continue packing instead..
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Murphy's Law
Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong..
I was kinda bumming at work for about a week plus.. literally not doing anything much except surfing the web.. but as my leave draws closer.. I get busier! which is always the case.. On training for the past 2 days.. which leaves me with 3 working days this week.. and I've got couple of datelines.. arrggghhh!
I can now only look forward to hopping onto the jet plane next tues nite, and head for the Land of the Rising Sun! doubt I'll have the time to come up with a proper itinerary as I had planned to.. let's hope all the years of Japanese lessons will pay off when I'm there... really can't wait to go!!
I was kinda bumming at work for about a week plus.. literally not doing anything much except surfing the web.. but as my leave draws closer.. I get busier! which is always the case.. On training for the past 2 days.. which leaves me with 3 working days this week.. and I've got couple of datelines.. arrggghhh!
I can now only look forward to hopping onto the jet plane next tues nite, and head for the Land of the Rising Sun! doubt I'll have the time to come up with a proper itinerary as I had planned to.. let's hope all the years of Japanese lessons will pay off when I'm there... really can't wait to go!!
Friday, September 12, 2008
Calls for joy.. But...
Mid-year performance review was sometime in end July last year.. was just discussing with a fren from another dept and we concluded that due to the financial turmoil, there won't be one this year. But we were so wrong...
Was called into boss's room tdy not knowing what to expect. Then he passed me the letter. I was surprised that there was a mid-year salary review! Well, I didn't read the letter carefully, only zoomed in on the nos. first. So my boss asked which item I was shocked about. Read the letter carefully, only to realise that I got a promotion too! I literally went "HUH" in front of my boss in disbelief! I wasn't expecting a salary increment, much less a promotion. What more, I had just been promoted earlier in the year. Its just too fast!
The entire promotion and pay increment thingy didn't really sink in. I was more worried than happy. Ya, I get more money now.. but then, it comes with a lot more responsibilities and stress as well! I told my boss frankly that I ain't sure if I'm ready to fill into the position. It might've been a tad too fast.. Also, its gonna be difficult to manage expectations of ppl both inside and outside the dept.. then again, colleagues were telling me that to begin with, I shdn't have joined the dept at the rank of analyst.. jus that my boss couldn't override HR's decision.. so assuming I had joined as an associate instead, then my current rank matches with the time spent.. but ppl out there won't know the story behind it.. and thing is, I really dont' feel that I'm ready to be independent! sighz.. the amount of stressssssss!
This promotion didn't really come at the right time.. Just when I realised that I gotta take betta care of my health and pay more attention to work-life balance instead of working myself to death, the bar has just been raised for me. How to relax??? But boss said its either now or yr-end.. and he feels that since I have met the criteria now, he just pushed me up.. I actually wasn't expecting any promotion prob for another 2 years.. so can you imagine the immense pressure I feel right now!!!!
Was called into boss's room tdy not knowing what to expect. Then he passed me the letter. I was surprised that there was a mid-year salary review! Well, I didn't read the letter carefully, only zoomed in on the nos. first. So my boss asked which item I was shocked about. Read the letter carefully, only to realise that I got a promotion too! I literally went "HUH" in front of my boss in disbelief! I wasn't expecting a salary increment, much less a promotion. What more, I had just been promoted earlier in the year. Its just too fast!
The entire promotion and pay increment thingy didn't really sink in. I was more worried than happy. Ya, I get more money now.. but then, it comes with a lot more responsibilities and stress as well! I told my boss frankly that I ain't sure if I'm ready to fill into the position. It might've been a tad too fast.. Also, its gonna be difficult to manage expectations of ppl both inside and outside the dept.. then again, colleagues were telling me that to begin with, I shdn't have joined the dept at the rank of analyst.. jus that my boss couldn't override HR's decision.. so assuming I had joined as an associate instead, then my current rank matches with the time spent.. but ppl out there won't know the story behind it.. and thing is, I really dont' feel that I'm ready to be independent! sighz.. the amount of stressssssss!
This promotion didn't really come at the right time.. Just when I realised that I gotta take betta care of my health and pay more attention to work-life balance instead of working myself to death, the bar has just been raised for me. How to relax??? But boss said its either now or yr-end.. and he feels that since I have met the criteria now, he just pushed me up.. I actually wasn't expecting any promotion prob for another 2 years.. so can you imagine the immense pressure I feel right now!!!!
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Sep 6 - 4th Anniversary
Angela's wedding was on Sat Sep 6, the exact same date, 4 years back when we joined the firm! Pure coincidence.. So after the wedding dinner at Harbour Front, we hopped across to St James..
Time definitely has wings!! its already been 4 years since we joined the work force.. except for me and sean, the rest are still with the firm.. they're good to last this long.. or maybe max's curse was too strong.. before he left for aussie, he toasted us to 2 years with the firm, to await his return.. and that nite, he toasted the others to another 2 more years with the firm, till his bond ends.. lol..
Time definitely has wings!! its already been 4 years since we joined the work force.. except for me and sean, the rest are still with the firm.. they're good to last this long.. or maybe max's curse was too strong.. before he left for aussie, he toasted us to 2 years with the firm, to await his return.. and that nite, he toasted the others to another 2 more years with the firm, till his bond ends.. lol..
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Packing
My place is due for upgrading works in the coming week. Workers are gonna come in and make a mess of the place.. so my ever great daddy started packing things away neatly so as to minimise the amount of dust collected over these items.. he inspired me to spring-clean my room at the same time as well..
twenty-plus years and i've accumulated quite a huge load of stuff.. things which I once thought were useful, now seem nothing more than junk.. and I wonder why I had bothered to keep them back then.. i tossed out quite abit of stuff.. prob an equivalent of 4-5 A4 boxes worth of stuff..
as I packed my room, I started to think.. this packing of my room is somewhat akin to me packing up my feelings.. tossing out all those that are nothing more than junk now.. keeping only those worthy of being kept.. so as I pack and toss.. I began feeling a sense of peace and a tinge of happiness.. its been very long.. and its high-time I tossed away all the unnecessary.. to allow myself to move on.. things which I use to hold so dear could one day become nothing more than junk.. where I don't even think twice about throwing them away.. how sad is this? makes me ponder if there's permanence in anything in this world to begin with?
no matter how I know its time to move on.. its difficult.. it took years before I was able to view precious things as junk.. I don't expect to be able to just forget everything overnight.. but at least I know that its possible, just a matter of time..
twenty-plus years and i've accumulated quite a huge load of stuff.. things which I once thought were useful, now seem nothing more than junk.. and I wonder why I had bothered to keep them back then.. i tossed out quite abit of stuff.. prob an equivalent of 4-5 A4 boxes worth of stuff..
as I packed my room, I started to think.. this packing of my room is somewhat akin to me packing up my feelings.. tossing out all those that are nothing more than junk now.. keeping only those worthy of being kept.. so as I pack and toss.. I began feeling a sense of peace and a tinge of happiness.. its been very long.. and its high-time I tossed away all the unnecessary.. to allow myself to move on.. things which I use to hold so dear could one day become nothing more than junk.. where I don't even think twice about throwing them away.. how sad is this? makes me ponder if there's permanence in anything in this world to begin with?
no matter how I know its time to move on.. its difficult.. it took years before I was able to view precious things as junk.. I don't expect to be able to just forget everything overnight.. but at least I know that its possible, just a matter of time..
Saturday, August 23, 2008
The Rhema Word - HOPE
Supposed to go for some trial body massage which was FOC and asked SX along too.. but.. cos I was late, we didn't get to enjoy the body massage.. meh =\ supposedly wanted to shop.. but somehow, we never found the energy to do so..
SX was giving bible studies to one of her members, so I decided to sit-in and listen as well. The topic was on faith being a process... then she went on to talk about HOPE. Well, everyone's supposed to have hope.. and God will answer to these hopes should the person delight in God. But to me, I felt that hope is such a double-edged sword. As the saying goes, 希望越大，失望越大 (translating - the greater your hopes, the greater your disappointment). SX corrected my mindset on this. She said that so long as our hopes are within the scope of plans that God has for us, they will be answered. In a way, I guess.. and she goes on to say that we must always persist in the things we hope for.. never to give up easily.. because one day, God will answer these hopes.. but I thought to myself.. this whole thing seems beyond me.. firstly, I don't know what God has in His plans for me.. if I don't know, how long then do I ought to persist to acheive something before I give up knowing that's not part of the plan? I've persisted before, believing that's what He told me to.. but at the end of the day, I only feel tired without accomplishing what I set out to accomplish.. I give up because I can't take it anymore.. does that mean I have lost faith somehow? then again.. how long is one supposed to persist?
This week's homily.. the only thing that struck me was again, "HOPE". I gotta say that I basically lost hope in alot of things.. and also stopped myself in hoping for anything after all the disappointments I had experienced.. I daren't hope again.. But I seem to be told today that no one / nothing is hopeless... One needs to have hope.. to have something to work hard for.. else, life seems kinda pointless.. supposed I'm at this stage at the moment.. not that I don't value life.. but I have no idea what my existence is for..
Probably He is trying to put the word HOPE back into my dictionary..
SX was giving bible studies to one of her members, so I decided to sit-in and listen as well. The topic was on faith being a process... then she went on to talk about HOPE. Well, everyone's supposed to have hope.. and God will answer to these hopes should the person delight in God. But to me, I felt that hope is such a double-edged sword. As the saying goes, 希望越大，失望越大 (translating - the greater your hopes, the greater your disappointment). SX corrected my mindset on this. She said that so long as our hopes are within the scope of plans that God has for us, they will be answered. In a way, I guess.. and she goes on to say that we must always persist in the things we hope for.. never to give up easily.. because one day, God will answer these hopes.. but I thought to myself.. this whole thing seems beyond me.. firstly, I don't know what God has in His plans for me.. if I don't know, how long then do I ought to persist to acheive something before I give up knowing that's not part of the plan? I've persisted before, believing that's what He told me to.. but at the end of the day, I only feel tired without accomplishing what I set out to accomplish.. I give up because I can't take it anymore.. does that mean I have lost faith somehow? then again.. how long is one supposed to persist?
This week's homily.. the only thing that struck me was again, "HOPE". I gotta say that I basically lost hope in alot of things.. and also stopped myself in hoping for anything after all the disappointments I had experienced.. I daren't hope again.. But I seem to be told today that no one / nothing is hopeless... One needs to have hope.. to have something to work hard for.. else, life seems kinda pointless.. supposed I'm at this stage at the moment.. not that I don't value life.. but I have no idea what my existence is for..
Probably He is trying to put the word HOPE back into my dictionary..
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Singapore vs China
Currently watching the 2008 Olympics Table Tennis Finals. Singapore's 1st chance at a medal aft a long 48 years.. Actually, I ain't excited with the fact that Singapore's gonna get her 1st medal after sooooo long... no sense of belonging? I shall simply attribute it to my lack of interest in this sport.. Table tennis is a game so dominated by the Chinese, regardless of country.. but I have to say the players are really good.. so fast that I lose sight of that small white ball.. lol
Think I enjoy watching swimming a lot betta! Michael Phelps such a legend! OMG! 8 golds 2008 Olympics!!! Not forgetting the synchronized diving as well, which is dominated by China.. perfect timing in execution... i'm awed!
The 'live' match just ended.. its a Silver for Singapore! I think the team did well, against such a strong opponent..
Break time over.. its back to work =|
Think I enjoy watching swimming a lot betta! Michael Phelps such a legend! OMG! 8 golds 2008 Olympics!!! Not forgetting the synchronized diving as well, which is dominated by China.. perfect timing in execution... i'm awed!
The 'live' match just ended.. its a Silver for Singapore! I think the team did well, against such a strong opponent..
Break time over.. its back to work =|
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Night Cycling
Only bcos of the company.. that's the only reason why I went nite cycling on National Day.. otherwise, nothing could drag me out of the house and sacrifice sleep (something which I'm already so deprived of)..
Compared to what we use to do in the past, last nite's cycling trip was shorter with a group of old and new frens.. we started off from MF's place at AMK and headed north. Stopped at Seletar Reservoir (which to my amazement was buzzing with people in the middle of the nite) for a couple of rounds of bear and hunter.. before continuing on to jalan kayu for prata.. got back to MF's place ard 4am and crashed into bed..
my legs are still protesting.. more the knees than anything else..
so don't feel like going in to work tomorrow...
Compared to what we use to do in the past, last nite's cycling trip was shorter with a group of old and new frens.. we started off from MF's place at AMK and headed north. Stopped at Seletar Reservoir (which to my amazement was buzzing with people in the middle of the nite) for a couple of rounds of bear and hunter.. before continuing on to jalan kayu for prata.. got back to MF's place ard 4am and crashed into bed..
my legs are still protesting.. more the knees than anything else..
so don't feel like going in to work tomorrow...
亞洲舞道館 MV
tis is soooo cool!! It really takes a lot to be a dancer.. determination, perseverance.. check out the MV kie!! my dance teacher is oso featured in it..
Part I
http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMzI5MzAzODg=.html
Part II
http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMzM2NTkyNDQ=.html
Part I
http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMzI5MzAzODg=.html
Part II
http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMzM2NTkyNDQ=.html
Friday, August 08, 2008
08Q2
Missed the last gathering.. so hadn't seen the team for some time alr.. was a nice, simple evening out..
Its always great catching up with them.. and how time flies.. seems like it was just yesterday when I entered the firm as an A1.. reporting to the then managers, KS and TA. Now, they're already senior managers.. signs that we're all growing old!!! TA's oso back from the States after a 2.5 yr secondment.. asked how's life there.. on a standalone basis - alrite.. compared to life in singapore - its great! wat a contrast.. lol..
for them who had stayed so long with the firm.. contemplating to leave at this juncture doesn't really seem to quite work out in monetary sense.. so i'm still glad i decided to venture out early.. where the pay cut i took was nothing that significant.. but ask me if this route i had taken is wat i want, i can't give you an answer either.. i've been asking myself the same question over and over again.. cos if banking ain't my cup of tea, then i ought to leave soon too.. before being won over by the monetary returns.. i give myself till my next bonus to decide.. cos i've worked so hard (and met my budget).. should stay and collect my dues before moving on..
but its really time to think.. WHAT NEXT?
Its always great catching up with them.. and how time flies.. seems like it was just yesterday when I entered the firm as an A1.. reporting to the then managers, KS and TA. Now, they're already senior managers.. signs that we're all growing old!!! TA's oso back from the States after a 2.5 yr secondment.. asked how's life there.. on a standalone basis - alrite.. compared to life in singapore - its great! wat a contrast.. lol..
for them who had stayed so long with the firm.. contemplating to leave at this juncture doesn't really seem to quite work out in monetary sense.. so i'm still glad i decided to venture out early.. where the pay cut i took was nothing that significant.. but ask me if this route i had taken is wat i want, i can't give you an answer either.. i've been asking myself the same question over and over again.. cos if banking ain't my cup of tea, then i ought to leave soon too.. before being won over by the monetary returns.. i give myself till my next bonus to decide.. cos i've worked so hard (and met my budget).. should stay and collect my dues before moving on..
but its really time to think.. WHAT NEXT?
Friday, August 01, 2008
OUCH
tdy's my 3rd lesson at basic salsa classes.. tis guy whacked his elbow right into my face!!! *OUCH* i've been rubbing it.. also used an ice-pack.. but it still hurts terribly!! fingers crossed I won't end up with a huge bruise on my face.. =|
3rd lesson into salsa.. and i still find it kinda boring..
someone's keen to try out hip hop.. gonna try to convince her to take it up.. then i can go back to learning hip hop!! but it also means i'm gonna start from the basics agn.. sounds like i'm wasting $$ here.. but.. dunno oso.. will see how it goes..
3rd lesson into salsa.. and i still find it kinda boring..
someone's keen to try out hip hop.. gonna try to convince her to take it up.. then i can go back to learning hip hop!! but it also means i'm gonna start from the basics agn.. sounds like i'm wasting $$ here.. but.. dunno oso.. will see how it goes..
Monday, July 21, 2008
Summer Break in Taiwan
The long awaited trip... had always wanted to visit taiwan to check out its shopping!! also 1st half had been so stressful that I couldn't wait to go on a trip just to unwind.. wat started out to be a trip with my cousin ended up pretty different.. was kinda apprehensive about having to travel with a fren and his fren.. someone whom I've met for the 1st time.. but, in my opinion, think we got along pretty well over the 9 days..
We were kinda ambitious.. only 9 days, yet we literally went round taiwan.. starting from Taipei in the north, we traveled down to Taroko Gorge in the East. Then it was all the way south to Kending. We then traveled north along the west coast, stopping over at Kaoshiung and visited Alishan before making our way back to Taipei. With all the time spent getting ard and sightseeing, the real shopping I did was a mere 2hrs at Wufenpu.. was a lil sad with the lack of time to shop.. then agn.. it was good tt i got to see alot more places..
Having done the round island trip, frens all asked me which city I fancied most... It would probably be Taipei and Kending. Taipei for its shopping, pretty ppl, KTV with rooms that resemble that of a hotel, vibrant nite life.. Kending for its laid-backness, the large expanse of blue waters.. the proximity to the blue waters (minus the nuclear reactor that was a tad too close for comfort) The other places were pretty too.. Taroko Gorge, "Qi Xing Tan", Alishan..
Some things we didn't do.. ought to have stayed another nite at Kending.. jus to relax and explore the place.. given that it was such a looongg journey getting there and its highly unlikely that i'll travel that kinda distance to get there the next time I head to Taiwan.. ought to have stayed a nite at Alishan to catch the sunrise which has been widely touted to be very magnificent and pretty.. oh well.. we certainly didn't have that kinda luxury of time..
Pictures are meant to speak a thousand words.. but pics tis trip are kinda minimal cos the company i travelled with aint cam whores.. jus make do with wat there is.. check out the link on the right =p
We were kinda ambitious.. only 9 days, yet we literally went round taiwan.. starting from Taipei in the north, we traveled down to Taroko Gorge in the East. Then it was all the way south to Kending. We then traveled north along the west coast, stopping over at Kaoshiung and visited Alishan before making our way back to Taipei. With all the time spent getting ard and sightseeing, the real shopping I did was a mere 2hrs at Wufenpu.. was a lil sad with the lack of time to shop.. then agn.. it was good tt i got to see alot more places..
Having done the round island trip, frens all asked me which city I fancied most... It would probably be Taipei and Kending. Taipei for its shopping, pretty ppl, KTV with rooms that resemble that of a hotel, vibrant nite life.. Kending for its laid-backness, the large expanse of blue waters.. the proximity to the blue waters (minus the nuclear reactor that was a tad too close for comfort) The other places were pretty too.. Taroko Gorge, "Qi Xing Tan", Alishan..
Some things we didn't do.. ought to have stayed another nite at Kending.. jus to relax and explore the place.. given that it was such a looongg journey getting there and its highly unlikely that i'll travel that kinda distance to get there the next time I head to Taiwan.. ought to have stayed a nite at Alishan to catch the sunrise which has been widely touted to be very magnificent and pretty.. oh well.. we certainly didn't have that kinda luxury of time..
Pictures are meant to speak a thousand words.. but pics tis trip are kinda minimal cos the company i travelled with aint cam whores.. jus make do with wat there is.. check out the link on the right =p
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Breathing Space
finally have the time to change my blog skin... and i'm going back to basics...
1st half of 08 was way tiring given that i had to juggle so many things at the same time.. couple of which are over now.. which explains the breathing space i currently enjoy..
mood's a lil betta aft i got back from my taiwan trip (will blog abt that later).. even colleagues say that i'm alot more cheerful.. but tis is only temporary i guess.. will revert to the short-tempered, 'snappish' person soon enough when the lack of sleep builds up..
2nd half of the year looks a lot brighter in terms of breathing space and sorting out the direction i gonna take from here on..
one really needs loads of courage in life... 勇气
1st half of 08 was way tiring given that i had to juggle so many things at the same time.. couple of which are over now.. which explains the breathing space i currently enjoy..
mood's a lil betta aft i got back from my taiwan trip (will blog abt that later).. even colleagues say that i'm alot more cheerful.. but tis is only temporary i guess.. will revert to the short-tempered, 'snappish' person soon enough when the lack of sleep builds up..
2nd half of the year looks a lot brighter in terms of breathing space and sorting out the direction i gonna take from here on..
one really needs loads of courage in life... 勇气
Monday, May 19, 2008
Save You
Save You - Simple Plan
Take a breath, I pull myself together.
Just another step until I reach the door.
You'll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you..
I wish that I could tell you something to take it all away.
Sometimes I wish I could save you,
And there's so many things that I want you to know.
I won't give up 'til it's over.
If it takes you forever, I want you to know..
When I hear your voice,
It's drowning in the whispers.
It's just skin and bones,
There's nothing left to take.
And no matter what I do,
I can't make you feel better.
If only I could find the answer to help me understand..
Sometimes I wish I could save you,
And there's so many things that I want you to know.
I won't give up 'til it's over.
If it takes you forever, I want you to know that..
If you fall, stumble down, I'll pick you up off the ground.
If you lose faith in you, I'll give you strength to pull through.
Tell me you won't give up,
'Cause I'll be waiting if you fall.
You know I'll be there for you.
If only I could find the answer to take it all away..
Sometimes I wish I could save you,
And there's so many things that I want you to know.
I won't give up 'til it's over.
If it takes you forever, I want you to know..
I wish I could save you..
I want you to know..
I wish I could save you..
Take a breath, I pull myself together.
Just another step until I reach the door.
You'll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you..
I wish that I could tell you something to take it all away.
Sometimes I wish I could save you,
And there's so many things that I want you to know.
I won't give up 'til it's over.
If it takes you forever, I want you to know..
When I hear your voice,
It's drowning in the whispers.
It's just skin and bones,
There's nothing left to take.
And no matter what I do,
I can't make you feel better.
If only I could find the answer to help me understand..
Sometimes I wish I could save you,
And there's so many things that I want you to know.
I won't give up 'til it's over.
If it takes you forever, I want you to know that..
If you fall, stumble down, I'll pick you up off the ground.
If you lose faith in you, I'll give you strength to pull through.
Tell me you won't give up,
'Cause I'll be waiting if you fall.
You know I'll be there for you.
If only I could find the answer to take it all away..
Sometimes I wish I could save you,
And there's so many things that I want you to know.
I won't give up 'til it's over.
If it takes you forever, I want you to know..
I wish I could save you..
I want you to know..
I wish I could save you..
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
EMO
Actually, mind's in a complete blank right now... but I can't head off to dreamlandzzzz as yet cos I've got to get the nos analyzed by morn when I go in to work.. sleepless nite...
Then again, I'm in no mood to work... kinda feeling EMO right now...
Dance lessons, japanese lessons, CFA exam, endless work... I know I have to give the peripheral ones up soon... cos I'm getting nowhere with any of the above... betta to drop some and focus on the more impt ones... first one to go will be dance... as much as I love dance, with a class of only 3 ppl (me inclusive) left, its become so quiet that the enthusiasm's gone... will struggle to continue with jap.. but ain't puttin much effort there, gonna wait till cfa's over... cfa... i'm of half a mind to give it up as well... its draining to be studying after work (esp in my field of work)... also, I no longer have that self-disciplined... sad huh...
the current situation with roofus aint helpful in boosting my moods either.. its always a case where my hopes are raised, only to be dashed in no time... yet, I'm silly enough to continue finding reasons to explain why things are happening this way... jus wat is wrong with me?!?!?!
digress --- i need to change my blogskin... when will i find the time to do that???
Then again, I'm in no mood to work... kinda feeling EMO right now...
Dance lessons, japanese lessons, CFA exam, endless work... I know I have to give the peripheral ones up soon... cos I'm getting nowhere with any of the above... betta to drop some and focus on the more impt ones... first one to go will be dance... as much as I love dance, with a class of only 3 ppl (me inclusive) left, its become so quiet that the enthusiasm's gone... will struggle to continue with jap.. but ain't puttin much effort there, gonna wait till cfa's over... cfa... i'm of half a mind to give it up as well... its draining to be studying after work (esp in my field of work)... also, I no longer have that self-disciplined... sad huh...
the current situation with roofus aint helpful in boosting my moods either.. its always a case where my hopes are raised, only to be dashed in no time... yet, I'm silly enough to continue finding reasons to explain why things are happening this way... jus wat is wrong with me?!?!?!
digress --- i need to change my blogskin... when will i find the time to do that???
Saturday, February 02, 2008
I lost my bracelet!!
Ok, it ain't anything expensive, but its something that I like a lot and I bought it in Korea.... I don't even know where I dropped it.. =\ Was too busy keeping up small talks with strangers and taking down notes the entire morning. I wanna find it back!!! but how??? =\ =\ =\ =\
Sunday, January 20, 2008
周杰伦世界巡回演唱会
Just came home after Jay Chou's World Tour Concert.. feeling now is still 超 high!!
Cos of his popularity, we only managed to get the Cat 3 tix.. well, seats ain't that bad.. but if only we got the Cat 1 tix... nonetheless, it was still a very entertaining show! This was despite him havin taken to stage despite being sick (or so I heard). He's one amazing person.. so talented!! He played the piano, guitar, drums and guzheng during the show!! I just like to see him playing the piano... so kewl...
He sang more of the fast songs instead of those 抒情歌曲.. so the atmosphere was really high!! Even his grandma went on stage and danced!! What a sporting Ah-Ma.. =)Tortoise met laoshi and when she saw her tix, the price stated was S$0.00... laoshi oso said she would be going backstage later!! So envious!!!
Only regret of the nite, none of us had a camera =(
We were wondering where he would head to after the concert since last nite, he tripped off to Zouk... we were speculating perhaps he would head to St James.. but too pai sei to ask laoshi... so we went off for drinks to soothe our throats after all that screaming...
His songs are currently playing on my media player... ... =)
Sweet sweet dreams!
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