期待

嘿嘿！又想用华语了。。可能很快就能将我的“blog”改为中文的吧！其实也没什么特别的原因，只是跟随着感觉而已。。

乌龟午后时发了短讯告诉我她收到好消息了，要我去查看电子邮件。。真的真的好失望啊！为什么没有那封我期待已久的电子邮件呢？？啊啊啊啊啊啊！！　

看来我期待的东西还蛮多的。。。　。。。好难过。。。

the MOST UNDERSTANDING boss

I have to say I've got the most wonderful boss I can ever ask for.. He's understanding and rolls his sleeves up to help (ie. he doesn't just sit there barking orders!) He doesn't lose his temper (at least not at me) either.. what more can I ask for? I'm really thankful for him, else I think the last 2 years in banking would have been more hellish..

So, what prompted this entry was the chat I had with my boss this afternoon.. It was actually to talk about the upcoming budgeting (yes, the most dreaded time of the year!) and he started a little on performance review.. he started with how we are benchmarked against each other.. and since I had been promoted, the expectations have of course been raised too.. he can't really decide if the promotion was good or bad either.. he said that their decision to push me so quickly was two-fold - 1) to begin with, I had been downgraded by HR when I first joined and so my bosses felt they needed to push me up quickly and 2) they think that I've grown professionally and should move-on.. When I first started, I did feel that I was kinda short-changed.. but then the promotions came a little too quickly for me to handle.. learning curves are way steeeeppp!!! back to budgeting.. after the no. was vaguely set, he asked "so how, stressed or not?"

er.. I had felt the stress from the day I got the promo letter.. and here he is asking me half a year later.. hmm.. had he not seen or felt the immense pressure I was under?? my reaction and reply was probably a little too emotional.. I was told not to be too hard on myself.. since I've only been in banking for 2 years as compared to my fellow peers who've had longer banking experience.. for himself, he prob had bout 7 years experience when he joined the team and was placed in charge of the huge account and he felt intimidated then.. so he can very well imagine the kind of fear and stress that I'm experiencing.. perhaps, the expectations the bosses have of me is not as high I make it out to be? They probably might cut me some slack for being inexperienced.. then again.. what the heck is an inexperienced person holding the rank of AVP??

I better learn to expect less from myself.. less stressful, more time to sleep, complexion will improve and I can look younger!!! ははは!!

脆弱

得知了朋友的父亲生命垂危，立即就与其他好友赶到他家去探访。。 看到了他父亲那瘦弱的身子以及那半昏迷半清醒的状态，立即让我想起了当年也是因得了癌症而离开人间的外公。。想起了当年的画面，眼泪就不由自主地涌上。。但我知道在那情况下，无论如何我都不能落泪！！ 因为他们已是多么的难过了。。

癌症病人所受的痛是你我都无法想象的。。他的父亲24小时都得注射吗啡来减轻病痛。。但也因吗啡的关系而进入了半昏迷状态。。我想起了当年外公不停的对我说他有多痛， 多难受。。但我却什么都不能做，只能眼睁睁的看着他受苦。。一天一天看着至亲的人慢慢的被病魔侵袭， 直到病魔战胜将亲人夺走，而我却什么都不能做，那种滋味可真是难受啊！！

生命或许就是如此脆弱吧！就因如此，我们每天都应该过得很充实！！ 我可是说得到，做不到。。 每天就只忙碌于工作而忽略了其余的东西。。真地认为自己太差劲了！

A new year

new year new beginning..

most extraordinary new year.. 2009 greeted me with antibiotics..

2 days later, 2009 treated me to panaco (paracetamol for fever AND pain) and topped it with a day of mc..

a further 2 days, a mouth full of ulcers and another 2 days of mc cos I'm suspected to have contracted the virus that causes HFMD..

if i develop blisters over the next 2 days, then can the doc confirm it to be HFMD and I can continue staying home for ??? (as long as it takes for all the blisters to dry)

it all started with my nephew who had HFMD.. then my bro got the virus and now me.. ..