Potent Bug

Think I've caught the omnipotent flu bug.. I do get the occasional sore throat, running nose kind of stuff.. but this time round.. OMG! Haven't fell this sick for as long as I can recall..

On the first nite I fell sick, I couldn't sleep cause my throat hurt so badly. The next morn, after going to the doc, I concussed for the next 22 hrs, waking up only to take my meals and medicine... Went in to work, but called it quits after half a day.. the aircon was freezing cold, my nose was leaking non-stop, I sounded like I was coughing my lungs out.. Betta not spread the germs..

Today's the 3rd day.. onli improvement is that I can now get out of bed.. the medicine simply has no effect on me.. wasted the public holiday staying home.. dun wanna spend the weekend in bed again..

arrghhh.. stupid bug, will you jus stop bugging me!!!!

The order of the Catechumens

Having been attending mass for over a year, today's one was exceptionally different, because of the meaning it held. Today's Rites of Acceptance marks the first of several rites I'll be going through as I journey down this road of Faith.

I felt really blessed and happy to be called and be able to answer God's call. When the sponsors signed the cross for us, I felt that it gave me a whole new meaning to Christian life. Previously, I had attended mass regularly simply for the sake of attending due to my lack of understanding. The months of RCIA thus far have certainly deepened my understanding of the religion. After the signing of the cross, I felt a deepening of relationship with Christ and a compelling need to live the Christian way of life to be a good role model for others. However, each step that I take to be closer to Christ raises the fear in me - the fear of being different from my family (my family's religion is taoism). When I was praising the Lord, tears welled up in my eyes as I wished that my family was there with me. I believe I have long accepted Christ, but to do it in this official manner, it adds a different meaning to it all.

This is but just the beginning of a long and arduous journey. I still don't feel that I have the strength to go through with baptism without my family despite my mum having told me that she's fine with whatever religion I choose for she can't be there with me forever, and ultimately its a choice that I have to make for myself. So long as I'm happy, she won't be against it. But its easier said then done. I truly love my family for their openness and understanding and I sincerely hope that one day, they too will hear God's calling and answer to that call.

Start questioning

Of late, there have been more and more occurrences of people who had left Price, making their way back. All had left for the banking industry, only to return because the prospects seem brighter back where they started from. Some of them have left for a couple of months, some for up to 2 years. This left me questioning, what is it that they have realized that is leading them back to where they started, rather than trudge on at wherever they might be right now?

Call it the herd instinct. When one starts moving back, slowly others will follow suit. What does turning back signify? Giving up the fight in the corporate world outside of audit? Giving up the pursuit of your dreams/your goals? Acknowledging that one can't survive outside, away from the sheltered life that Price provides? Or is it really true that the prospects are better back in Price? If that's the case, then I too want to head back.

I've lost that determination, that strength to work towards what I want to achieve. All because reality has proven to me that I perhaps don't have the capabilities to make it. 3 years in the workforce, but none of the experience I've picked up is considered relevant towards achievement of my goal. At least that's what my last interviewer told me. What have I been doing over the past 3 years? Have I simply been wasting my time?? Its saddening and demoralizing to hear that. Should my experience be irrelevant, it simply means that either I start afresh, or I'll never walk down the path I had envisaged. But not many firms will give me the chance to start afresh, when they could easily hire a fresh grad, who certainly will have greater drive and determination.

What happens next? Being stuck in a place where you only have colleagues, not friends, when everything you say or do, criticisms are aplenty. You can't see what the future beholds in your current employment. Returning to Price is a much more palatable alternative then. At least there's still a certain degree of certainty in your future. You've got friends who stand by you through the hard times, both at work and outside.

I don't really know what to think or do at the moment. Work performance has certainly deteriorated but I just can't bring myself to put in more effort. Keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for the best. I place my faith in the Lord, and may I receive good news next.

吓！太厉害了！！超赞！！

刚上完hip-hop班！很累很累，但感觉很爽！今天是第十一堂课，下星期就是最后一堂了，也意味着要考试了！时间过得可真快哦！

刚开始上hip-hop班时，觉得这舞蹈不适合我，但跳啊跳的，就越来越喜欢了！那令你感觉超帅的舞步！ 嘿嘿！好好玩哟！同学之间的默契和感觉也很棒！连小柯老师也说她当老师也感到很欣慰， 同学都这么棒，吸收力很强, 气氛也很好。小柯也说她从未看过一班这么好的同学, 早知道她就编排更难的队形给我们. 一部分是靠天分，但也外加了努力。 其他同学多数都是学生, 比较能抽出时间, 所以都会在上课一小时前到舞蹈学院去练习。 真是用工！我也会尽量早点下班去练习，不然就跟不上了。我已经算是班上最差的一个了，不是记不住舞步，就是跟不上节奏。哎哟。。 我跳hip-hop的样子其实是超难看的，完全抓不住那很帅的感觉。。 乌龟，教教我阿!!

跟这班同学跳得很有感觉.. 希望大家都会继续跳下去吧. 太好玩了!!　

今天真是超开心!!!　

Personal DNA

You are a Creator

Your imagination, confidence, willingness to explore, and appreciation of beauty make you a CREATOR.
You are independent, and you enjoy your self-sufficiency.
Defying convention, you are very innovative, and you have a vivid imagination.
The look of things is important to you, and you have a keen eye for aesthetic beauty in multiple arenas.
You have a strong interest in what is new and exciting—and that includes forging ahead with new ideas, not simply discovering what is already out there.
Your eagerness to seek new and varied experiences leads you into many different situations.
You're not set on one way of doing things, and you are creative when it comes to finding novel solutions to complex problems.
You trust yourself to be innovative and resourceful.
Your confidence allows you to take your general awareness and channel it into creativity.
You're not one to force your positions on a group, and you tend to be fair in evaluating different options.
You're not afraid to let your emotions guide you, and you're generally considerate of others' feelings as well. You tend to do things on the spur of the moment, not sticking to a set schedule.
You have a strong sense of style and value your personal presentation - friends may even seek your style advice from time to time.
Generally, you believe that you control your life, and that external forces only play a limited role in determining what happens to you.

If you want to be different

Appreciate the earthly, practical elements of things—there is beauty in form as well.
While you are good at thinking abstractly, focusing on details a bit more may help you discover things about the world.

how you relate to others

You are Benevolent

You are a great person to interact with—understanding, giving, and trusting—in a word, BENEVOLENT
You don't mind being in social situations, as you feel comfortable enough with people to be yourself.
Your caring nature goes beyond a basic concern: you take the time to understand the nuances of people's situations before passing any sort of judgment.
You're a good listener, and even better at offering advice.
You're concerned with others at both an individual and societal level—you sympathize with the plights of troubled groups, and you can care about people you've never met.
Considering many different perspectives is something at which you excel, and you appreciate that quality in others.
Other people's feelings are important to you, and you're good at mediating disputes.
Because of your understanding and patience, you tend to bring out the best in people.
You're not one to force your positions on a group, and you tend to be fair in evaluating different options.
You're not afraid to let your emotions guide you, and you're generally considerate of others' feelings as well.
You tend to do things on the spur of the moment, not sticking to a set schedule.
You have a strong sense of style and value your personal presentation - friends may even seek your style advice from time to time.
Generally, you believe that you control your life, and that external forces only play a limited role in determining what happens to you.

If you want to be different:

You spend a lot of time taking care of others, but don't forget to take care of yourself!
Sometimes you can get overcommitted, and when you sacrifice spending time with those close to you, it can make them feel unimportant.

SstarZz

I want this chain!!!

Callin' out to stranger

Where is the stranger in whom I managed to find comfort in? Sometimes, stranger seems so close, but at other times, stranger seems so far away.. this seemingly close yet distant feel is something that doesn't sit well with me.. at times, it sinks me into exasperation, at times, it sinks me into depression.. its so difficult to understand stranger.. its not that I don't want to know, its because stranger doesn't want to talk about it..

Stranger, I'm still here.. but are you still there? Unknowingly, it has grown to such a point where I'm afraid that one day I'll not be able to find stranger, worried that I won't see stranger's face light up again.

Instead of the differences spoken of, in our eyes are mirror images and I have to speculate that God himself made us into corresponding shapes like puzzle pieces from the day...

Stranger, when will I be able to find you back?

迷失了方向

This picture very well depicts how I'm feeling right now - completely lost, not knowing what next.

1130am - "... could u come over for an interview during lunch?"

HUH?!?! My plan was to lunch in because I'm really behind in terms of my work. Backlog. But what to do? Had to go. But the short notice was also good in a way. Then I didn't have time to get too tensed up. Crap. I was still as tensed as ever. Spent whatever little time I had reading up.

I had been forewarned, by not 1 but 2 ppl about how intimidating this interviewer of mine is. Given the background that he hailed from, not too difficult to imagine how tough and difficult he might be. I wasn't disappointed. He basically grilled me over my resume, and asked for such a detailed account of things, something I've never experienced before in all my interviews. I wasn't speaking coherently at all. One important point, if you're like me with such a terrible memory, please try not to include things that are more than 1 year old. I simply had no recollection of some of the things that happened in the past. Sometimes as I elaborate, I realize that my resume is trapping me!! Things don't gel at all. The more I said, the more I was tripping over my own comments.

Another first for this interview, interviewer actually bothered to take time to draw out the structure of how the unit functions and explained in such great detail. Its for their benefit as well as mine, to set all expectations right at the onset. He also asked alot of questions and the focus was basically on whether I know what it is that I want. He advised that the short tenures are not going to look good on my CV. He also reasoned that when he was my age, he too was very eager to learn. Things that we've never tried before will always seem interesting and we'll always be curious and want to find out more. But there is a limit to how much one can learn because of limited time and resources. Experience is something that is accumulated over time. Simple statements of facts delivered correctly leaves a lasting impact.

No interviewer ever spared me the question on why I failed to get my honors. And I found that my answer has evolved over time though the basis is still the same. This interviewer was different. He asked if I regretted not focusing on my studies. I never really spent much time pondering over that question before so he got me thinking. I won't say its completely without regrets. I perhaps could have done better by being more hardworking. But then again, the things I got to try and the experiences gained from all those activities that I took part in back then... Those are things which no books or no. of As can buy me. Of course, I'm not as smart as my fellow frens who though as involved as I was, still did well in their studies. Would I swop those experiences for an honors. Maybe not. According to my interviewer, in life, you've got to make choices, you've got to learn to prioritize. You can't have the best of everything. I agree with him. I got my degree (though without the honors), and at the same time, I got to pursue my interests. Right now, I am (or choose to believe that I am) still on track to achieve my goal in terms of my career, albeit I might be a few years behind others.

To end the interview, he reinforced his point on what the role was all about. He told me that should he decide to make me an offer, he still wanted me to think through if this is what I really want to do for the repercussions will be huge. He told me not to give him an answer there and then. He wants me to think about it. He understands that no one will stay in the same job forever, but he wants someone who will spend a reasonable amount of time such that the effort spent training and grooming will not go down the drain.

I've never had an interview that made me think so much after it has ended. All the things my interviewer told me, though simple as they might be, have a very great impact on me. It felt as though my dad had given me a piece of advice (truth be told, neither dad nor mum ever gave me any advice. Their theory is that so long as I am happy and know what I am doing, they'll always support me. wonderful set of parents I have)

Frankly, I feel that I didn't do well in today's interview, so ain't keeping my hopes high. Nonetheless, my interviewer has given me lots of food for thought.