Oopss.. ashamed

We all know Mother's Day is approaching. My bro's gf is so nice and considerate that I feel so ashamed of myself. She will be out of town that weekend due to work committments, so right now she's actually thinking of ordering a cake for my mum and have it delivered on that day. It didn't cross my mind to get anything for my mum, but yet my bro gf's is so enthusiastic about it.

She asked me what type of cakes my mum would prefer but my mind drew a blank. I don't seem to have the slightest idea what my mum would like!! Now, I really ought to be ashamed of myself. After bringing me up for 23 years, I still don't know my mum's preference. Actually, its not only my mum, I do not know the likes and dislikes of any of my family member!! Just realised how much I've taken my family for granted. They're always the ones who know my preference but yet, I know nothing about them. *sighz*

In the end, the only info I could give my bro's gf was that my mum don't like creamy cakes. Not much help, right? But really, that's all I know. Knowing how much I have taken my family for granted, I ought to do something about it, and I'll do my best to not be a self-centred kid anymore and pay more attention to the people around me. =)

Wala-Wala

Itz been a while since I last went out to chill with SH and SM. Last night was an impromtu chill out session at Wala Wala. As usual, the place is always crowded. I got there much later than them and had to queue for more than 1/2 an hour, alone. Despite them having got there around 8pm, they still couldn't get a seat. Hence, we ended up standing for the entire night. Haven't enjoyed myself nor felt so relaxed in a while. Just enjoying the music with a drink and chatting away with them. Now, I need new mp3s! All the songs that I have though nice, are old and kinda outdated. *lol*

But all didn't go well last night. I got burnt by a cigarette, later on, got beer spilt on me and finally, got stepped upon. All the above were done by one SOLE person!! I was quite pissed with this guy. He had quite abit to drink but certainly wasn't tipsy yet. Now, I have this burn mark on my hand. It had better not leave any scar or I'll be cursing this fella for a long long while!!

As the night drew on, the place got more crowded. Suddenly, we were forced into a corner, and could hardly move an inch. It didn't help that those around us were mainly Caucasians and easily bigger and taller than us. We were kinda 'squashed'. Despite it being only midnight, we couldn't take the crowd anymore and left. We chatted a little more at the hawker centre while deciding on what next to do. They were thinking of heading down to Devil's Bar, to which I wasn't really keen. My legs were really tired after standing for the entire night and I had to get up early the next morning to go fishing! ^^I left them and headed home while they went on down to Devil's bar.

Got back at 2am to find my nephew awake. He had just finished his milk and refused to sleep, crawling all over the place and playing with whatever things he can lay his hands on. Hyperactive kidz! So I ended up playing with my nephew till he was willing to sleep =) It was a tiring night...

"Goodbye"

Been bidding farewell to colleagues lately, some are moving out of the industry, while others are moving out of the country. Itz saddening to see them leave, but itz good for them to have found their direction in their lives.

Went for the company bash on Fri nite. My intention was to go there and meet up with my colleagues whom I haven't met in a while and not to drink. So I thought I would drive there, and that would stop me from drinking. But in the end, changed my mind since bro agreed to drive me there instead. I really can't drink for nutz... Jus a couple of tequila shots and vodka later, my head started spinning. I could still walk on my own and knew exactly what was happening around me, just that the head was throbbing away. A manger spotted me, came over and said ,"Bye, I'm going off on Sunday. But I'll be back... after 2 years." I was shocked. I completely forgot that he was going over to the New York office! There goes another nice manager. Just said bye to one earlier in the day and now another in the night. A couple of my peers will be leaving come end June. All these ppl leaving made me feel so down and wonder, when, when will it be my turn? Knowing that they all are leaving and perhaps working towards a better future just make me think about what I'm doing with my life. I'm directionless and in a state of limbo. I've set myself a timeline to make changes. But from the way things look right now, the timeline don't seem realistic at all. Well, can only hope that things will fall into place somehow, someday.

Slightly pass midnight, we were all calling it a night. Too much booze in us all, so we decided to head home instead of going for supper. It was great catching up with Sept 6 bunch. The next gathering we have, will perhaps really be the farewell gathering for the 4 leaving for Australia.

Disappointing

Someone couldn't make it to catch the musical, West Side Story at the eleventh hour and gave the tix away for free. Lucky me got the tix (thx to Gail) and went ahead to catch the muscial despite my original intentions of clearing my piling workload that night. It was too good an offer to resist. =P But both of us were a little disappointed with the musical. It wasn't as engaging and interesting as other musicals I'd watched. In fact, it was a little dull. It didn't help that it had a weak storyline either. I believe the focus of the musical was on the dance portion. There were scenes which dragged on, simply because of the dance. But I couldn't appreciate the dance. It seemed sorta unrefined and barbaric. However, credit should be given to the leads, especially Kirsten Rossi casted as Maria. She's got really clear and powerful vocals. Josh Young, casted as Tony, could also sing really well, though at times, the key seem to run a little too high for him to hit the notes but, he didn't go out of tune, just sounded like he was straining his voice. Well, I'm glad I hadn't had to pay for the tix cos I feel that itz something that can be missed.

EastEr HoliDayZ

Yea!! Long weekendz!! Just that it doesn't feel that long after all. Itz already Sun now, so nearing the end of the holz... =( Nevertheless, it has been a fulfilling weekend thus far.

This is the first Easter I am celebrating, so kinda excited about finding out more about it. I have been to church for mass on Thursday and Friday and will be going for Easter mass later in the day. To me, the underlying notion of the first 2 masses were rather similar, in that we were told about Jesus's great love for everyone, including sinners. We should follow his example and love all those around us, including our enemies and those who have hurt us before. This struck a chord in me. I think it was through faith that I manage to find the peace and strength to love one and all, regardless of any reasons that should have led me to do otherwise instead. I thought this was a good change in me. I've managed to face up to reality and am happy with life as it right now. Of course there're things which I want to improve in my life still.

There was another first this weekend. I went FISHING!! Itz an activity which I've always thought requires loads of patience, which I don't have, and boring since all you do is wait for a fish to bite. Thus, I never bothered to try fishing. But after the trip to Ubin earlier on, I changed the views I held about fishing. It was pretty interesting. Someone had checked out the tidal chart and the best time to fish would be between 10am-2pm. There's so much to be learnt! Choosing the bait, size of hook to be used, casting the line etc etc. All these were fun. The terrible part came in when you just have to sit patiently and wait. I think that's the boring part. But the group of frens I went with were all very chatty, so it didn't turn out as bad as I thought it would be. Rather, I think we had loads of fun despite not having caught anything except for 3 tiny little fishes.

We returned to mainland and headed to Tampines for some food and drinks. I was famished by now since I only had a slice of peanut pancake for the entire day! We realised that we all red like lobsters and no doubt, we were all burnt. The sun was out in full force for the entire time we were there. Our skins all felt so hot and hurt! Some of us went on to catch the movie, Inside Man. I had a terrible headache and haven had enough sleep for the week, so I almost slept in the theatre. At the end of the show, we just went 'huh'? The ending was kinda abrupt, as though the production company already has a sequel in the plans. The show wasn't interesting at all in my opinion. I'm now dead tired and struggling to finish this entry before I hit the sacks.

Yippie!! Gonna start Jap classes again tomorrow!! So excited. But think I'm gonna have trouble playing catch up. Of course, I wasn't disciplined enough to revise on my own *tsk tsk* Itz gonna be a long day again. Ciaoz.

Really random

Has it ever occur to you that at times, you just have the urge to blog but don't know what to write about? Or maybe, those random thoughts that flash across are too personal to be broadcasted online? It just happened to me last night. Strong feelings overwhelmed me but I couldn't put them down in writing either. It helped that there were people on msn in the wee hours of the morning for me to chat with, and remove my mind from those random thoughts.

I think online chat programs like msn are such powerful inventions. I like them but at the same time hate them too. They allow me to keep in touch with family and friends halfway across the globe but without the human interaction in it. Its akin to chatting with a machine, so cold. Of course technology now allows you to see and hear the person you're chatting with, but its just not the same. Also, not everyone makes use of the technology. I've had quite enough having to try second-guess what the other person mean in an online conversation. It doesn't help that these guesses will at best remain as guesses. A frightening thing is that I am able say things on msn which I will never be able to say in person. I don't know which day I'll end up saying something irreversible of consequential impact.

Was actually online chatting with my bro last night. I don't think I would have said all those things I did last nite if in person. We were actually discussing about work and stuff and I think I've got a really supportive bro who can readily agree to my quitting without a job. *LOL* But I haven't reached the point where I need to take such drastic measures yet. He's in search of a new job himself and I pray that he finds something he likes and the whole package is beneficial to him =) Sometime back, I also said something to a friend via msn and am now wondering if I said the right thing. But what's said cannot be taken back already, so will just have to go with the flow.

Ain't making sense right? I thought so. Cause there're certain things which I do not know how to pen them. So I'm better off going to bed.

New kewl blades that came with bruises as an extra

The title says it all.

Finally decided to get my own pair of blades. I know nuts about blades really, just enjoy being on wheels and being near the sea. A fren who noes much more went with me to pick out something suitable. Its price vs performance. As an amateur, really, they all look the same to me. My fren picked out a pair, saying that its really good and its value for money. It's orange, one of my fav colors!! Since I'll be getting money from the progress package, just decided to get it even though it was above what I thot I would pay for a pair of blades. As it turns out, the blades just way to kewl for me, this beginner! *LOL*

I couldn't control them at all. Wobbly even on flat ground. I feel as though I'm learning to blade all over again! I've not had problems with the slopes but this new pair is sooo smooth, I just rolled on. The rest, we all know... OUCH! It really hurts. No deep cuts, just badly bruised. Luckily the bruises are not visible so I won't get nagged at by my parents. But, I can't sit properly =( And this isn't the only fall of the day. I'm now feeling sore all over from trying to break my falls. How I wish I can be on MC tomorrow.

Now, the pair of blades realli realli kewl. But think they're way too good for me. Hopefully, I can progress on and make full use of my blades instead of just scratching it from my countless falls. Quite 'heart pain' when I saw all the scratches.

Focus

So I was 'summoned' in for a talk on tues. I did expect the kind of pep-talk I was given but thinking through the arguments that were put-forth to me, they did make some sense. Before and after the talk, I was thrown into complete confusion. I don't even know how many voices there were in my head, all eagerly expressing their own point of view. I was trying so hard to quieten down all the voices so that I could listen to the most important one of them all.

Friends thought I was disappointed/depressed after the talk. Well, I wasn't. I never expected things to be smooth-sailing anyway. I was just deep in thought, trying to re-assess the entire situation as well as my options. There's this huge chunck of mess in me which I don't have the slightess idea how to resolve it but I know I have to do something about it. I know that its all the push factors that's forcing me out. It really shouldn't be the case. The force of what used to be the greastest push factor has greatly diminished to the point that its almost non-existent. This, I am very sure. So my dear friends, all of you can stop worrying about it. I might have a slight clue of what next since between career and family, there's only one which I would willingly give up for the other without a thought.

Right now, I'm just going to cast this aside and focus on what's more pressing at hand, my studies!!!! Its exactly 2 months away, the syllabus is Greek to me and I've yet to flipped a page. I wonder why I'm ever so eager to throw myself into the deep end jus to struggle to stay afloat. Sometimes, I think I'm just mad. *LOL* I'm so in need of a miracle!

Fun-filled weekend

My weekend seemed to have started on Fri tis week. Heh.. really wasn't in the mood to work at all, so I was at the client's place for a short 2 hrs. After that, I had a long and relaxing lunch with my colleague. We were lazing in TCC, neither were in the mood to go back to work. I did a little more work in the afternoon at the secretariat, and that's about it. As I was leaving office, I bumped into a fren, someone whom I've not seen nor acknowledged knowing in a while. But I acknowledged him at the lobby and said hi that evening. This brought my day to another new high!

I had to give meeting up with my colleagues for dinner that evening despite the fact that kt was back from UK because I was going to catch a play, Doubt, a local production. I ain't sure if I enjoyed the play. I didn't fully comprehend everything but I think it was a commendable effort nevertheless. I think their acting's pretty good though the storyline didn't impress me much. Think I still much prefer musicals over plays where there's music and better stage props. Looking forward to watching West Side Story next.

After that, we headed off to the wine company at Dempsey Road. It’s a nice hangout for a group of frens to sit together, drinking wine, eating cheese and chatting the night away. We had a bottle of cab merlot and sparkling wine. I really cannot drink for nuts. Only 2 glasses and I could feel the effects of the wine. It was off to supper after we left wine company. To our disappointment, the roti prata house at Thomson was closed, so was Casurina prata. We ended up at Serangoon Gardens instead.

This was when laoda told us about the gory incident her fren’s bro witnessed. He took the Spaceshot ride (which we did last weekend) and sat next to a gal with long hair. After the free fall drop, he found himself splattered with blood and when he turned and looked, the gal next to him was headless but her hands were still moving!! It was something like her hair got caught somewhere at the top of the ride, such that her head got wrenched off when the free fall started!! I can’t imagine the kind of trauma the guy went through given that we were grossly horrified just hearing about it. I told my brother about the incident and he wasn’t surprised. It wasn’t reported in the news but he seemed to have heard something about it from his counterparts. OMG!

On Saturday night, I went blading with a group of friends. By far the largest group I have bladed with and also for the longest time. We bladed for 3 plus hours and the feeling of having ‘worked out’ was great! I only picked up blading late last year and really enjoy it because of the proximity to the sea. I’m slightly more stable on the wheels now and am learning t-braking and turning. About time I got my own pair of blades, with money from the progress package. It was close to 1am after we were done blading and we headed for supper. I hadn’t ate much for the day but still had no appetite for supper. In fact after eating, I felt like puking. Think I was suffering from indigestion because I woke up that morn with a stomach that was churning terribly. Sure hope I am not suffering from any form of eating disorders.

This is also the first weekend where I did not bring home any work!! Yippeee!!