I am not what I seem to be

No idea why, but people seem to always get the wrong impression of me. I am not what I seem to be! Or is there something wrong with me that I cannot identify exactly what kind of a person I am? Well, what can I say? I can't control others thought process. Can only say, 'don't judge a cover by its books'.

Last day, last minute

Today's my last day at work. Gotta return all the company's stuff plus all the stuff that I've borrowed from my frenz! But, as usual, being the super last minute person that I am, I hadn't packed all the things. Hence, I was in such a mad rush in the morning, trying to round up all the things. But I gave up, cause I found nothing. LOL. This gives you an idea of how messy my room is. This only means that I'll spend the weekend ransacking my room/house for all the things, and return to the office on Mon. This is also the reason why I cannot make it to JB tomorrow!! Not enough time!!

Had lunch with those colleagues who were in the office today. Thank you guyz and galz. It has been a wonderful 22 months working together. Not sure where I'm heading towards, but I believe it is where I would want to be. A couple of you I've spoken to are hanging in there simply because you don't know what's ur direction. Well, dont' lose heart but don't take too long to think kie! Time waits for no one. The longer you drag, the harder it is to leave. But of course, don't leave for the sake of leaving too. When I was doing the clearance, it felt kinda surreal. I kept asking myself, is this for real? Am I really leaving? At some point, I also stopped and asked myself, do I really want to leave? Future's more or less certain over here, but yet I've chosen to throw myself into the deep end. Must be mad. But no venture no gain, I suppose.

Supposed to be a 2 weeks break. But from what I see, I don't really see a break. =(

I'm driving myself nuts. This weekend will be spent searching for things, writing letters for Choice and meeting up with Rachel. I also gotta pack and plan my trip!! Yes, another decision made on impulse. I'm flying off to Melbourne next Tues morning. I started making reservations only this week and just got my air tix and visa done this morning. Was keeping my fingers crossed that I don't get randomly selected by the system and get my visa application rejected! Its winter there, which is the reason why I have to pack properly, so that I won't fall sick. Otherwise, I won't really bother. Really last minute decision to travel, since this 2 weeks break wasn't exactly planned for. But thinking again, perhaps I should just stay in SG for the 2weeks, to settle all the admistrative matters for my next job and also to pack my CMI room. Also, its winter in Melbourne. Since my frenz have already gone skiing, they won't be going with me again. I won't go skiing on my own. Heard visibility's poor, which means I won't be able to enjoy much of the scenic routes. I can't go hiking in winter too. I'm beginning to wonder what I can do there? Of course I like winter for its cool weather and the coats that I'll get to wear. ^^ SG's just too hot!! But gloomy days are just not good for travelling right?

Well, whatever. Ticket's paid, though a little overpriced. At least I save on accomodation and guide. Heh. I'll just flip through lonely planet for the LONELY traveller, as my fren puts it. Yep, I'll be travelling ALONE, yet again. Hope there's nothing wrong with me such that I've got no friends who wanna travel with me. Haha. Even if its true... ...

There goes my bonus. First to HK, now to Melbourne...

Just wished that from Melbourne onwards, pace of things would slow down A LOT. Time seems to fly by me. Really need tis 2 weeks for a good rest before I embark on my new job, all recharged for the upcoming challenges!!

Mad, crazy, xiao, out-of-my-mind...

Now I feel a lot calmer...

All the above words are used to describe me just a while ago. I don't think there's any other person like me already. At my age, I'm still going crazy over a group of young kidz. *lol* I just came back couple of hours back, from the recording of the Superband competition. For those who don't know what tis is - well, its a music competition for bands. Tonight was the last round of the semi-finals and not knowing if I'll be around for the finals, I just tried my luck at getting the tix. Amazingly, I got it rather easily, unlike what I read online. =
What got me so interested in this competition is one particular band - Milubing. Early on in the competition, one of their re-arrangement for this really old song by Jeff Chang - Guo Huo, really impressed me. From then on, I've not missed a single episode of this show. Monday nights were never the same again because I'll always be home early, all eager and ready to catch their performance. Their improvisation of all those well-known songs really added a new touch and feel to those songs. It also got me motivated to 'erm' start playing my organ again!! Its been years, almost 7 in fact, since I last touched it. Even had to get it repaired first.

At the studio, it was kinda obvious I was one of the 'older' supporters.. the rest of them were probably sec, jc/poly students. I was definitely out of place there as I had imagined. This was the reason why I almost backed-out of turning up for the recording. But am glad I went after all. Their music was great! 3 really impressive and multi-talented young kidz! There's another group which I quite like too - Lucify! I like them for their J-rock/J-punk style of dressin! haha.. anything jap goes for me! They gave a surprising performance tonight!! One of the guitarist actually played the keyboard so well too!! These are the 2 groups I support in this competition because they're bands that play instruments and remake the music. The other groups are mere singing and dancing ones aka boybands type. They're impressive in their own ways too, but I like that live band music better anytime!

I witnessed how connected people are again. Bumped into my cousin's fren at the recordin and she's actually the gf of one of the member of the group that I'm supporting! how small is this World??

Alright.. enough of madness, I ought to return to Zzzzzzzzzland.

Mix feelings over HK

Came back from Hong Kong on Mon nite. Didn't exactly like the place, felt as though I had wasted money on the trip. If I had known I'm going to have a 2 weeks break coming up, I would never have gone to Hong Kong. Now, I need to think twice about going away during the 2 weeks break because 1) its going to hurt my pockets a lot, 2) cannot imagine the nagging I'll have to endure from my parents. I would really like to take a good break. I've gotta decide fast so that I can still get an air-tix.

Now, back to my Hong Kong trip. Couple of reasons why I didn't enjoy myself:
1) the weather was soooo HOT, I perspired till I almost dried up
2) the people (hong kongers, PRCs) are so rude and know nothing about basic courtesy
3) the trip was focused only on shopping, while I would've preferred exploring the place
4) my cousin was down with food poisoning on the 2nd day, so an entire day was wasted, havin to take care of her
5) the shoppin wasn't really fantastic cause of the different fashion and I can't afford to buy the branded stuff

Of course there're a couple of saving graces:
1) the skywalk at Macau - I wished I could just sit out there
2) the fireworks show at Disneyland
3) the fresh air and great scenery at peak and Lantau island

Despite the not so fantastic shoppin deals, I still manage to burst 1.5k on the trip. That amount can easily buy me an air tix to Australia. Perhaps some things are just not meant to be?

Anyway, check out the link to the photos =)

The right decision?

Feels weird.. I'm actually writing tis blog in office.. not that there's nothing to do, but more like I'm not in the mood. Just handed in my resignation this morning. Regretting my decision? Certainly not. How I can regret when I haven't even started out my other job to know that I won't like it enough. But its more like feeling lost and sad.

I don't know what to expect from here on. Its never easy to move out of one's comfort zone, to have to adapt to a whole new environment again. Its really comfortable here, with all my close buddies. I'm actually close to tears right now. My last day has been reflected. Its a mere 2 weeks away. I'm so gonna miss everything, everyone here. All the lunches, coffee breaks, bdae celebrations, chill-outs... the list goes on. SEPT 6 RUN PALS, U'LL ALL BE MOST DEARLY MISSED!! Ya, I will still remain in contact with them, but its gonna be very different.

Given the old me, perhaps I would've embraced this change with a lot more optimism. But I've changed. I seek stability more than I seek challenges now. Maybe I've grown all weary. A little early in life to be feeling weary, I know, but I really don't have a direction in life. I'm like bulldozing my way around blindly, hoping that some day, things will jus fall into place on its own. Don't really know what I'm doing.

I'll probably have 1 - 2 weeks of break before I start work again. Thinking of travelling for a week. Can't really plan anything at the moment, will just see where I'm led to or see who invites me to visit them.

For better or for worse, I really don't know. Only time will tell. ^^

Wat a weekend

Oh man! I'm actually feeling dead tired right now. Haven't had much rest over the weekend, and I'm so running out of time!!

After a half day stock take at a construction site on Fri morn, I was feeling too numb to make it back to office. All the walking around and the scorching sun zapped away all my energy. But now I regret not going back, otherwise I would've gotten my promotion letter already. So I spent the afternoon lazing at home before heading out to meet frens for dinner and to catch the World Cup. It was Germany vs Argentina. I support Argentina though I knew very well Germany would win, simply because they're the host country. When the match was so exciting, some NICE soul toppled a mug and the beer spilled onto me!!! AHHHH!!! My top was stained, I stink of alcohol and I felt so sticky. If it was jus a couple of drops that I got me, I would've accepted his apologies. But NO!!!!! My top had brown patches all over!!! Pissed, I retorted when he apologised, "Apologising is not going to change anything right now." Then I stormed off. I still don't think I was being mean by not accepting his apologies because, from my friends' description, he apologised only casued others told him to. It didn't help that he was so retarded in reacting to the fact that he spilled beer onto me. Reflex would mean apologising immediately and getting serviettes for me. But no, he stood there like a block of wood. *faintz* Luckily, my friend had a spare tee in his car. So I stayed on till the match ended. Argentina should have so won. *sadz*

I did a crazy, silly thing on sat again. I still cannot believe myself for making my way down to Bugis, just to catch the superband constestants, live. haha. Till now, I'm still laughing at myself in disbelief. I had actually asked my cousin along, but by the time she got to Bugis, the event had ended, while I had rushed off to somewhere else. The night was spent at a friend's house watching the World Cup till 5am the next morn. *lol* I've never stayed up through the night for soccer before. Its just cause the World Cup only happens once in 4 yrs. Kinda disappointed with the results too.

So after staying up through the night, I slept for the most part of Sunday. But not well-rested despite the 8 hrs of sleep I had. Half the time, I was disturbed by my nephew - his cries, pulling of my hair, hitting me etc etc...

It was off to the chalet for my cousin's 21st bdae! Reminded me of my own 21st bdae, which was so long ago. Feel old... Seems like ever since the 21st bdae, I've never bothered to keep track of how old I am. It was a nice gathering session. Can't help but be proud of the fact that we're so close to one another, even though we're just cousins. Don't think many people are actually this close to their cousins. A 3 week trip in europe last yr, upcoming hk trip in 3 days time, and more trips to come... Of course, not forgetting all the crazy things that we do together.

Sis-in-law, Elaine and me, had a great chat again. Feel so lucky to have such a wonderful sis-in-law and a future sis-in-law to be. But of course, my brothers are still the most blessed ones, to have them as their other halfs!

After an activity-filled weekend, am now struggling to finish my pile of work. No progress watsover. Keeping fingers crossed that I would have the time to do them over the next 3 days so that I can leave for my holiday with peace of mind.

Nitez for now =)