迷失了方向

This picture very well depicts how I'm feeling right now - completely lost, not knowing what next.

1130am - "... could u come over for an interview during lunch?"

HUH?!?! My plan was to lunch in because I'm really behind in terms of my work. Backlog. But what to do? Had to go. But the short notice was also good in a way. Then I didn't have time to get too tensed up. Crap. I was still as tensed as ever. Spent whatever little time I had reading up.

I had been forewarned, by not 1 but 2 ppl about how intimidating this interviewer of mine is. Given the background that he hailed from, not too difficult to imagine how tough and difficult he might be. I wasn't disappointed. He basically grilled me over my resume, and asked for such a detailed account of things, something I've never experienced before in all my interviews. I wasn't speaking coherently at all. One important point, if you're like me with such a terrible memory, please try not to include things that are more than 1 year old. I simply had no recollection of some of the things that happened in the past. Sometimes as I elaborate, I realize that my resume is trapping me!! Things don't gel at all. The more I said, the more I was tripping over my own comments.

Another first for this interview, interviewer actually bothered to take time to draw out the structure of how the unit functions and explained in such great detail. Its for their benefit as well as mine, to set all expectations right at the onset. He also asked alot of questions and the focus was basically on whether I know what it is that I want. He advised that the short tenures are not going to look good on my CV. He also reasoned that when he was my age, he too was very eager to learn. Things that we've never tried before will always seem interesting and we'll always be curious and want to find out more. But there is a limit to how much one can learn because of limited time and resources. Experience is something that is accumulated over time. Simple statements of facts delivered correctly leaves a lasting impact.

No interviewer ever spared me the question on why I failed to get my honors. And I found that my answer has evolved over time though the basis is still the same. This interviewer was different. He asked if I regretted not focusing on my studies. I never really spent much time pondering over that question before so he got me thinking. I won't say its completely without regrets. I perhaps could have done better by being more hardworking. But then again, the things I got to try and the experiences gained from all those activities that I took part in back then... Those are things which no books or no. of As can buy me. Of course, I'm not as smart as my fellow frens who though as involved as I was, still did well in their studies. Would I swop those experiences for an honors. Maybe not. According to my interviewer, in life, you've got to make choices, you've got to learn to prioritize. You can't have the best of everything. I agree with him. I got my degree (though without the honors), and at the same time, I got to pursue my interests. Right now, I am (or choose to believe that I am) still on track to achieve my goal in terms of my career, albeit I might be a few years behind others.

To end the interview, he reinforced his point on what the role was all about. He told me that should he decide to make me an offer, he still wanted me to think through if this is what I really want to do for the repercussions will be huge. He told me not to give him an answer there and then. He wants me to think about it. He understands that no one will stay in the same job forever, but he wants someone who will spend a reasonable amount of time such that the effort spent training and grooming will not go down the drain.

I've never had an interview that made me think so much after it has ended. All the things my interviewer told me, though simple as they might be, have a very great impact on me. It felt as though my dad had given me a piece of advice (truth be told, neither dad nor mum ever gave me any advice. Their theory is that so long as I am happy and know what I am doing, they'll always support me. wonderful set of parents I have)

Frankly, I feel that I didn't do well in today's interview, so ain't keeping my hopes high. Nonetheless, my interviewer has given me lots of food for thought.