Start questioning

Of late, there have been more and more occurrences of people who had left Price, making their way back. All had left for the banking industry, only to return because the prospects seem brighter back where they started from. Some of them have left for a couple of months, some for up to 2 years. This left me questioning, what is it that they have realized that is leading them back to where they started, rather than trudge on at wherever they might be right now?

Call it the herd instinct. When one starts moving back, slowly others will follow suit. What does turning back signify? Giving up the fight in the corporate world outside of audit? Giving up the pursuit of your dreams/your goals? Acknowledging that one can't survive outside, away from the sheltered life that Price provides? Or is it really true that the prospects are better back in Price? If that's the case, then I too want to head back.

I've lost that determination, that strength to work towards what I want to achieve. All because reality has proven to me that I perhaps don't have the capabilities to make it. 3 years in the workforce, but none of the experience I've picked up is considered relevant towards achievement of my goal. At least that's what my last interviewer told me. What have I been doing over the past 3 years? Have I simply been wasting my time?? Its saddening and demoralizing to hear that. Should my experience be irrelevant, it simply means that either I start afresh, or I'll never walk down the path I had envisaged. But not many firms will give me the chance to start afresh, when they could easily hire a fresh grad, who certainly will have greater drive and determination.

What happens next? Being stuck in a place where you only have colleagues, not friends, when everything you say or do, criticisms are aplenty. You can't see what the future beholds in your current employment. Returning to Price is a much more palatable alternative then. At least there's still a certain degree of certainty in your future. You've got friends who stand by you through the hard times, both at work and outside.

I don't really know what to think or do at the moment. Work performance has certainly deteriorated but I just can't bring myself to put in more effort. Keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for the best. I place my faith in the Lord, and may I receive good news next.