The Rhema Word - HOPE

Supposed to go for some trial body massage which was FOC and asked SX along too.. but.. cos I was late, we didn't get to enjoy the body massage.. meh =\ supposedly wanted to shop.. but somehow, we never found the energy to do so..

SX was giving bible studies to one of her members, so I decided to sit-in and listen as well. The topic was on faith being a process... then she went on to talk about HOPE. Well, everyone's supposed to have hope.. and God will answer to these hopes should the person delight in God. But to me, I felt that hope is such a double-edged sword. As the saying goes, 希望越大，失望越大 (translating - the greater your hopes, the greater your disappointment). SX corrected my mindset on this. She said that so long as our hopes are within the scope of plans that God has for us, they will be answered. In a way, I guess.. and she goes on to say that we must always persist in the things we hope for.. never to give up easily.. because one day, God will answer these hopes.. but I thought to myself.. this whole thing seems beyond me.. firstly, I don't know what God has in His plans for me.. if I don't know, how long then do I ought to persist to acheive something before I give up knowing that's not part of the plan? I've persisted before, believing that's what He told me to.. but at the end of the day, I only feel tired without accomplishing what I set out to accomplish.. I give up because I can't take it anymore.. does that mean I have lost faith somehow? then again.. how long is one supposed to persist?

This week's homily.. the only thing that struck me was again, "HOPE". I gotta say that I basically lost hope in alot of things.. and also stopped myself in hoping for anything after all the disappointments I had experienced.. I daren't hope again.. But I seem to be told today that no one / nothing is hopeless... One needs to have hope.. to have something to work hard for.. else, life seems kinda pointless.. supposed I'm at this stage at the moment.. not that I don't value life.. but I have no idea what my existence is for..

Probably He is trying to put the word HOPE back into my dictionary..