The anorexic phase is back

Right. I feel anorexic again. My frens might want to dismiss the word 'again' cos they would think that its normal for me to eat very little or not eat at all. But that's not the case. I ain't really sure when it started, perhaps back from Uni days?? There'll always be certain periods of time where no matter how hungry I am, I can't eat. I just hate food. Of course, I'll try to make myself eat, but I can only eat very little, or I know I'll throw up because I have thrown up before. But the throwing up part happened only when I was in depression. Right now, its just not having the appetite to eat. I don't know why this happen at all? I was asked if I was too stressed, but I don't reckon so since there's nothing for me to be stressed over!! Work has really toned down lots by now, studies wise, I don't really stress about it since it is by personal choice that I am sitting for the exam, no one to give me the pressure that I HAVE to pass it. Hence, I really have no idea. Its super unhealthy I know, but its a phase, that happens periodically. Joyce suggested that I might wan to consider seeing a doctor, but that hasn't really crossed my mind, YET.

Just this week, been out with them twice and they witnessed my anorexic syndromes. Once was on Wednesday when we went to catch V for Vendatta. The dialogue of the movie intrigued me, but it wasn't easily understood, at least I don't really understand. But I know it'll be scary should the world turn to become what the show depicted it to be. After the show, we went for dinner and all I had was a salad and a piece of cake. The worse thing was, I couldn't finish the salad, neither the cake.

Another was last night when we went blading. It was meant to be a healthy night since I felt that I had imbibed one too many drinks last week. Managed to convince 2 non-bladers to go blading together and off we went. They fell a couple of times but luckily nothing serious. Haven't bladed in a while so really really enjoyed it last night. The cool night breeze, the fact that I exercised, the company of friends... They have decided to make it a weekly thing, and I hope it will work out because blading could be about the only 'land' sports that I enjoy. After blading, we went for dinner at the hawker. I sat down and commented that I ain't hungry. They were all taken aback and said in unison, "again?" I just didn't have the appetite. I ordered noodles, but ate less than half of it. They were saying that its really unhealthy. Ya, I know that, but forcing myself to finish the food will only cause me to end up puking. I suppose at least I managed to eat a little which was better than nothing. The healthy night din last. We went off to cosy bay and had a beer each. It has been ages since I've last been there. It hasn't changed a bit all these years. Still the nice comfy, cosy place that it has always been =)

Let's hope this unhealthy phase passes by really quickly... ...