Save You

Save You - Simple Plan

Take a breath, I pull myself together.
Just another step until I reach the door.
You'll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you..
I wish that I could tell you something to take it all away.

Sometimes I wish I could save you,
And there's so many things that I want you to know.
I won't give up 'til it's over.
If it takes you forever, I want you to know..

When I hear your voice,
It's drowning in the whispers.
It's just skin and bones,
There's nothing left to take.
And no matter what I do,
I can't make you feel better.
If only I could find the answer to help me understand..

Sometimes I wish I could save you,
And there's so many things that I want you to know.
I won't give up 'til it's over.
If it takes you forever, I want you to know that..

If you fall, stumble down, I'll pick you up off the ground.
If you lose faith in you, I'll give you strength to pull through.
Tell me you won't give up,
'Cause I'll be waiting if you fall.
You know I'll be there for you.

If only I could find the answer to take it all away..

Sometimes I wish I could save you,
And there's so many things that I want you to know.
I won't give up 'til it's over.
If it takes you forever, I want you to know..

I wish I could save you..
I want you to know..
I wish I could save you..

EMO

Actually, mind's in a complete blank right now... but I can't head off to dreamlandzzzz as yet cos I've got to get the nos analyzed by morn when I go in to work.. sleepless nite...

Then again, I'm in no mood to work... kinda feeling EMO right now...

Dance lessons, japanese lessons, CFA exam, endless work... I know I have to give the peripheral ones up soon... cos I'm getting nowhere with any of the above... betta to drop some and focus on the more impt ones... first one to go will be dance... as much as I love dance, with a class of only 3 ppl (me inclusive) left, its become so quiet that the enthusiasm's gone... will struggle to continue with jap.. but ain't puttin much effort there, gonna wait till cfa's over... cfa... i'm of half a mind to give it up as well... its draining to be studying after work (esp in my field of work)... also, I no longer have that self-disciplined... sad huh...

the current situation with roofus aint helpful in boosting my moods either.. its always a case where my hopes are raised, only to be dashed in no time... yet, I'm silly enough to continue finding reasons to explain why things are happening this way... jus wat is wrong with me?!?!?!

digress --- i need to change my blogskin... when will i find the time to do that???

I lost my bracelet!!

Ok, it ain't anything expensive, but its something that I like a lot and I bought it in Korea.... I don't even know where I dropped it.. =\ Was too busy keeping up small talks with strangers and taking down notes the entire morning. I wanna find it back!!! but how??? =\ =\ =\ =\

周杰伦世界巡回演唱会

Just came home after Jay Chou's World Tour Concert.. feeling now is still 超 high!!

Cos of his popularity, we only managed to get the Cat 3 tix.. well, seats ain't that bad.. but if only we got the Cat 1 tix... nonetheless, it was still a very entertaining show! This was despite him havin taken to stage despite being sick (or so I heard). He's one amazing person.. so talented!! He played the piano, guitar, drums and guzheng during the show!! I just like to see him playing the piano... so kewl...

He sang more of the fast songs instead of those 抒情歌曲.. so the atmosphere was really high!! Even his grandma went on stage and danced!! What a sporting Ah-Ma.. =)

Tortoise met laoshi and when she saw her tix, the price stated was S$0.00... laoshi oso said she would be going backstage later!! So envious!!!

Only regret of the nite, none of us had a camera =(

We were wondering where he would head to after the concert since last nite, he tripped off to Zouk... we were speculating perhaps he would head to St James.. but too pai sei to ask laoshi... so we went off for drinks to soothe our throats after all that screaming...

His songs are currently playing on my media player... ... =)

Sweet sweet dreams!

As 2007 draws to an end

Thinking back, trying to sum up all that has occurred in 2007...

In no particular order,

1. the year where I traveled most (both personal and for work) all my life

2. the year where I gave myself a break from studying after graduation

3. the year where close friends were all plagued with relationship issues

4. the year I started to journey with God

5. the year where I was jolted to my senses that life is so fragile.. that I could just wake up one day without the person so dear to me

6. the year where my career path took a change for the better (at least that's what I hope it is)

7. the year I managed to be different and summoned sufficient courage to speak the truth to someone who meant so much to me

Every year is filled with memories, good or bad, happy or sad, they're there to stay...

What's done cannot be undone... But you can do all you can so that tomorrow's betta...

No matter how difficult it might be, all the unhappiness of 2007 will have to be left behind so that I can begin 2008 with a smile...

让过去的过去，让未来到来吧!

There'll be no new year resolutions made this year because I know they won't be kept.

Happie New Year to one and all!!!

Blessed 2008 ahead!!

Tis the season to be Jolly

yep.. once again.. x'mas almost here.. supposedly the season to be jolly.. but my mood ain't anything like tat.. i feel completely crap..

haven been updating the blog regularly simply cos i don't feel like it.. with nothing good to write, wat's the point of writing? going away tis x'mas, and that's the only thing i look forward to.. but there's still so much shit to be cleared at work, all droppin on me just when i'm about to go on leave.. crappie..

somehow, my trips are always so well-scheduled.. allowing me to get away from Singapore at a time when I need to get away most..

finally, a white x'mas!!! fingers crossed that it'll snow.. heh.. and by the time i return, its time to prepare for the ushering in of 2008! I made a promise to myself that all the unhappiness of 2007 will be left behind.. 2008 will be a brand new beginning!!!

let me use the remaining days of 07 meaningfully.. to sort things out for a sunshine filled 2008 ^^

i need lots of strength, courage and guidance... ...

I CAN DO IT! I MUST DO IT!

Who's Ur Anime Boyfren

Ok.. I was a little bored.. and just trying to unwind a little.. and did the quiz..



Who's Your Anime Boyfriend?

Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.

Where is my Prince?

Its been a while

Haven posted in a mth!! Too busy, too tired, too messed up to post anything... also dun wan to post all the mood dampening stuff..

Loads happened.. loads went thru my mind as well.. din emerge wiser or anything.. still as lost and confused as ever.. its been a very different n difficult mth...

SH, SM, SX celebrated my bdae with me.. after drinks, SX sat with me by the river, listening to my sob stories.. imagine crying on my burfdae.. that's how messed up my life is right now..

Work's been like hell this month as well.. scheduled to go Beijing for only 2 days, I ended up in Nanjing, Suzhou, Shanghai as well for an entire week.. was only informed a day in advance.. that was how rush it was.. due to urgent matters that cropped up in SG, I spent daytime meeting clients and going on site visits over there, and spent the nites working on work due in SG.. dead beat.. regardless, still took a day out and travelled out to see the Great Wall of China, Mutianyu section.. great weather, sunny with strong winds.. beautiful scenery.. really clean and fresh air.. but I know more work's waiting for me in SG..

Felt really homesick tis trip.. I missed my nephew.. missed his cheeky antics.. missed the nonsensical things that he do which you really wanna reprimand him for but can't cos he's soooo cute and knows when to give u the innocent look... missed him too..

waiting for the day when things get betta..

Soul Hunger

"Deep within us is a restless desire to know the One who made us. We want to discover the purpose He has for our existence in His vast universe. We long to find peace in a world that is being torn apart by feuding families, warring nations, militant religious groups, economic uncertainty, and self-destructive addictions.

At times we may try to suppress that longing. We may try to fill the emptiness with a busy life, community service, career pursuits, romantic relationships, or by trying to cover up the ache with drugs or alcohol. Even though we may try to suppress or deny that longing within us, it will surface again and again. "

Having not done my bible readings in a while and feeling the lack of inner peace lately, I took out the dust covered Daily Bread - Food for the Soul and found the above paras as a prelude..

Emptiness is not something that can be overcome just by ensuring that every second your days are packed with activities.. I know because I tried and at the end of it all, I only feel burnt-out, what more at a much faster pace..

爱真的需要勇气

最近总是感觉很疲惫。。不仅仅是睡眠不足， 而是觉得人生很空虚。 无论我如何在工作之余参与许许多多的活动与课程，那都只不过是用于充当时间，不让我拥有太多多余的时间来胡思乱想、来感觉寂寞与孤单。

太累太累了。。就快支撑不住了。。只想他真能成为那能为我挡风遮雨的避风港，但。。他却似乎离我越来越遥远了。。我无法理解所发生的一切一切。。他也并没有要向我解释任何东西的意念。。到头来还是只能怪自己当初不够果断, 犹豫不决，错过了那独有的机会。。

我曾说过若时间能倒转，我也不会改变当初所做出的抉择。。但现在的我真的真的很希望时间能回到当出那时刻。。不是因为我累了，而是因为我领悟了。。

雪糕

I'm still really puzzled why he calls himself 雪糕? He likes ice-cream? His workshop is sooo fun!! Felt like a super good work out after the 1.5 hrs.. his style is very diff as well.. its good to learn under diff teachers.. get a diff kind of feel.. but i still feel like a piece of wood.. must really try to get the feeeeelllllll...

Camp Hutan - Precamp

The usual whining and complaining before the camp occurred bcos I'll be 'burning' my weekend for the camp. Just felt like the time can be betta spent catching up on sleep and hanging out with frens. But I was the one who volunteered to help although there had been no mention of a pre-camp when I agreed.

I was dead tired since it had been a really long week at work. Nonetheless, its pretty refreshing to attend a camp after so many years. Kinda lost count how long I've not been to camp actually. 4/5 yrs perhaps? Even went Bukit Timah Hill and made that 15mins climb up that steep slope with them. My first time there actually. LoL.

Felt young once again when amongst the JC/Uni students. How interesting when I was asked which JC/Uni I am in? I'll just laugh and reply that I've graduated for a couple of yrs already and be amused by the shocked looks on their faces. Its been 7 yrs since I left JC. There're some new JCs and VJ has even changed its PE tee! Its no longer that half yellow top that the fashion police had been so upset over. Heh. The current one looks so much betta!

2 more weeks to the actual camp. But I don't fancy stayin over in TNS with the rest. Ain't familiar with this batch of Rovers while my batch, we're non-existent already. Perhaps during the camp, I'll head home at nite... ...

Jigsaw

Its one of those times when all the pieces of the puzzle just fall into place nicely on their own, making u a happy happy person at the end of the day =)

Managed to catch the fireworks despite being late as it started later than the stipulated time. Not really sure what it is about fireworks that captivates me. Perhaps its the colors that brighten up the nite sky making it look all dazzling? Fireworks nowadays ain't the typical standard ones anymore. There was something Earth-looking, heart-shaped fireworks etc. An impromptu decision to catch the fireworks, no camera and hence no pics. Then it was off to a really late dinner. It was ard qtr past 10 by the time I got there and I wasn't hungry anymore. For me, hunger pangs usually disappear after a while. Good way to remain slim. Heh. Dinner with Roofus was actually impromptu as well. Although short, it rounded up the nite beautifully ^^

Time grew wings

Its been 2 weeks since I came back from my biz trip.. I was so tired before the trip cos of all the prep work to be done.. but it just got worse after I'm back.. both in terms of work and non-work stuff.. I've hardly had time to sleep in, not even on weekends.. But I've been really happy the last 2 weeks.. if only those things which I had silently hoped for had happened as well..

LAST WEEK
went wala with sm on thurs.. the band's great! but both of us still had to work to finish, we left pretty early.. but nonetheless, i was glad for the evening out and the drinks.. that allowed me to sleep betta that nite, and perhaps gave me the courage to said what i did the next day.. so ya.. i finally spoke to my boss.. fingers crossed, hoping for the best!

after my usual family dinner on fri, my sis-in-law had a craving for ice-cream! So, off we went to Haagen Daz.. it was so random.. but i enjoyed it.. my 2 bros, sis-in-law and myself.. having a nice chat over ice-cream.. i really appreciate the time we spent together, and the efforts that each of us put in to keep the family bonds strong.. that we can get along so well with my sis-in-law.. its a very warm fuzzy feeling..

on sat, finally went for KTV with colleagues.. if given a choice, i would've postponed this to go for MLB's autograph session instead.. haven been to any of their events.. =\ ex-team lead's house warming followed.. aka.. gathering for ex-OCBC team.. despite the far-flung place where he stays, I made it a point to attend.. jus cos I like the company.. besides this team, i don't recall there being another team with whom I've enjoyed working with as much.. occasionally, we'll still have get-togethers..

THIS WEEK
Kt's back this week.. our mega retro fanatic.. which explains the first place we headed to with him was Zouk on Wed.. i haven been to zouk in a long while already.. songs ain't as retro.. rather, we're old.. on thurs, we agreed that kt should hear the band Unexpected, so we headed down to Wala.. evidently i was the most tired there cos i was the onli one who went in to work that day!! blah.. so ya, the alcohol imbibed added its great damage on me, wat's more on an empty stomach.. but not having to work the next day, i din really bother.. off to satisfy kt's craving for 'douhua' after.. as far as i remember, its the most interesting cab ride i've ever had.. kt and the cab driver were discussing abt politics in a pretty heated yet humorous way.. kt's still e same, critical as ever.. with very strong personal opinions.. LoL!! IF ONLY I was half like him.. I'm always going along with the flow, never daring to speak up nor voice my opinions.. great to have kt back, albeit for 3 short weeks.. he used to be e one who organizes the sept 6 run outings..

fri nite was spent with the gals chatting away at glutton's bay.. i always believe that u'll see the rainbow at the end of a rainy day.. hang in there!! things will only get betta =)

bladed for a good 3 plus hrs on sat! felt so good.. though i tink the BK dinner made the blading all in vain.. hehehe..

what does the week ahead entails?? praying hard...

China biz trip - my thots

tiz a lil long overdue.. but have been spending all my available time reading PoTTeR.. well, the happily ever after ending's sweet and everything.. but then again.. it sounds really cheezy.. at least I wasn't wrong that Snape's a good guy after all.. nw that i'm over with the book, I shall blog all that I wanna say for the last 2 weeks!!! LoL =p

Pictures paint a thousand words.. here's a couple from my biz trip to China, my first time there cos I never felt like paying on my own to take a holiday in China.. jus doesn't entice me enough.. was a nice flight into Shanghai.. first time flying biz class as well.. so was a little like a mountain turtle.. heheh

but the air pollution in Shanghai shocked me.. the sky was all smog-filled... wat happened to the clear blue skies?? traffic condition's really terrible as well.. and it was sweltering HOT!!! It was a good 3 hours car ride as we went through Shanghai with a stopover in Kunshan before reaching Suzhou. The SIP seems like a complete replicate of Singapore. Its clean, roads are nicely laid out, plants pruned to perfection etc.. Felt good.. Was already evening by the time we got there, so boss brought me ard to see their Orchard Road equivalent... This is it!

Guan qian jie.. really, there's nothing to shout about... the haphazardness of the shops.. felt like Chinatown..

Next day was filled with site visit and meetings.. by the time we got back to Shanghai, it was evening again.. but I was rewarded with the following:-

The BIG king size comfy bed in Westin Hotel!!! 'Home' for the next 3 days.. after every tiring day, its just so awesome to come back to this comfy room, with the comfy bed for a good nite's rest..
Managed to squeeze in a little sightseeing in Shanghai.. that's the all-famous Oriental Pearl Tower located at Pudong.. Where I stood to take the pic is the Bund.. It was sooooo crowded, I felt overwhelmed and just wanted to scream out, "I need breathing space!!" LoL =)
This is Nanjing Xi Lu Bu Xing Jie.. A shopping stretch.. Only pedestrians.. no vehicles allowed! Jus look at the crowd and its a weekday nite..

After 3 days in Shanghai, went off to Shenzhen for a site visit.. boring boring place.. but with loads of Hong Kong ppl... cantonese is the more common language compared to chinese...

The trip was certainly an eye opener for me.. else I would never have set foot in China.. not the best time to be in China given that its summer and its really hot.. worse than SG..

China's certainly growing and very rapidly.. so its certainly a good place to be in to be in the thick of all the action.. but really, to have to live in China, I don't think I can do it... the whole environment... just not some place I feel comfortable in.. unless, u can behave like 1 of them, else, u'll forever be the last.. yea.. it did cross my mind, and I did consider moving to Shanghai.. but its going to take a lot for me to make this move..

Mr. Perfect

This guy is simply gorgeous! Both his smile and his bod! He's none other than Daniel Henny, an American South-Korean actor.

I caught the show 'Seducing Mr. Perfect' on my flight back yesterday. Daniel Henny starred as Robin Heiden, a very capable and driven guy at work. To him, love is nothing but a game, a manipulation of feelings. But this was more due to his failed first love, which took a bullet for him to get over the gal..

These kind of guys just so appeals to me!! tall, dark, handsome, well-built, driven, brainy, confident, speaks well, not a playboy, devoted and committed when in a relationship etc.. the list goes on.. those who have watched the show will have a betta idea what I'm talking about.

Does such a perfect guy exist in real life? *dreamz*

Courage

I lack the courage, I seriously do... ...

The Good Samaritan

There's been a lot going on that I would like to blog about but just can't find the time to.. In actual fact, I really ought to work doubly hard right now instead of taking time out to blog.. but all the CHINESE is driving me nutz.. need a break! Me and my pow-DER-ful chinese..

When I was first told that I'm travelling to China for work, I really didn't expect the workload to be as bad as what I'm experiencing.. But truth be told, things would have been completed at perhaps a fraction of the time if everything were to be done in English instead.. I'm already fortunate enough that there's someone who's translating everything (well, almost) for me.. what I then have to do is ensure that the ideas in the presentation flow and of course make the necessary changes to the texts to ensure that.. Why can't China use English as their main language?? Its been a way torturous week... all thanks to CHINESE..

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Friday nite, on my way to meet up with some frens, I thought the guy I walked past was calling me (I had my earphones plugged in).. so I turned round to take a 2nd look at that guy.. din ring any bell.. so I moved on.. but I really think that guy's calling me!! Removed my earphones turned back and *viola*! That's my jc classmate whom I haven met in ages!! *oops* I really din recognise him at the first instance.. Supposed was the change in his hairstyle that made him look, erm.. different...

I don't know what to say.. but all the gals are carrying branded stuff right now.. they own not just one but a couple... they're certainly being paid well... guys instead of branded stuff, pamper themselves by getting more gadgets... Sometimes, I do miss that job that pays soooooo well that you won't find another one like it elsewhere... But have to constantly remind myself that 'MONEY IS NOT EVERYTHING'.. but it does mean alot still... *sighz* the heart ACHES at the thought of that...

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Well, that's a lot of digression... back to the main topic of this entru - The Good Samaritan.. this should be something really familiar to Christians out there... but to those who're not.. tis is a story about how a person extended his help to someone he met along his journey who was totally unrelated to him...

reflecting on that.. it got me thinking not about the many times in which i had the thought of helping, but something jus holds me back from extending that help... rather it reminded me that this world doesn't just revolve around any single individual... its made up of a community.. I shouldn't be too absorbed into my own life that I forget about the existent of other people around me... I ought not to be so self-centred... I ought to put the interests of others before self.. but somehow, I was the only one who thought of this... so I wonder... I must have always been this self-centred freak who ignores the existence and pleas of everyone else around me... i must be one really selfish pig.. REFLECT REFLECT!!!

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The hacking cough's much betta already, though the throat's still irritated... can feel that the block nose is still causing all the trouble.. albeit its much betta... doc says its because of all the late nites I keep that lead to me being very heaty etc.. he terms the cough "劳嗑" (cough arising from being overworked) I ought to rest more.. but the schedules don't allow me to...

strangely, I'm always under the impression that my schedules were more punishing in the past then now.. but I never had this problem.. or issit a culminated effect?? can't deny that I'm getting older anymore can I??

Let's hope things are a whole load betta by the time I return!

A week

A week breezed through so quickly. PS came and left... managed to catch up with her on a couple of occasions despite her short yet fully packed schedule...

Her visa fiasco wasn't a great way to start her holiday but fortunately things turned out well... She gladly indulged in her favorite foods, taking up to 5 meals a day... Her last nite of holiday back home, couple of the rovers stayed over at her place... as with usual tradition, we spent the nite playing pictionary followed with silly charades... caught some sleep before her mum came into the room, turned on the lights and woke us all up at abt 4am...

It was a 4-car convoy that sent her off to the airport... a huge entourage... lol

With her having been back twice in a year, it won't be anytime soon that she'll be back...

PS, take care and have loads of fun!

Gals nite out

My very treasured grp of gal frens... was a nice evening... =)