Sunday, February 18, 2007

Friends... losing them

Lately, I've been feeling that its getting more and more difficult to sustain all my friendships.. I'm not sure who has changed.. issit me or issit them? It doesn't help that there are external factors at play breaking up those strong friendships forged.

We used to be a grp of 4, hanging out together almost every other week.. A misunderstanding caused a strain between 2 and left the other 2 clueless at how to help resolve the tension... I really enjoy the camaraderie amongst us.. and this is the best chill-out grp.. everyone's easy-going.. now friday nites will never be the same again.. i dun have the slightest idea how long it will take for the air to clear up..

Was out with a couple of really close galfrens but i felt displaced.. i wasn't keen in their chat topics and neither were they with mine.. we had earlier arranged a gathering with some others on cny's eve, but one of them decided to change her mind.. followed by another and naturally the 3rd one as well.. when the 1st changed her mind, i was pretty upset and disappointed.. it ain't the first time this has happened.. thereafter whatever I said was filled with sarcasm.. i tried to restrain myself, and only calmed down after a while..

真是我变了吗?有时候真的还蛮讨厌自己的。。

现在心情真得很差很差。。 只想静静的坐着,一面听着音乐、望着夕阳西下,一面喝着酒。。好想好想登上油轮在那无边无际的海洋上漂泊。。

为何心情总是如此低落?又再次起了那想逃离这地方的念头。。

这是命运的宽容还是另一次不怀好意的玩笑?真的真的很累了。。

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